Celebrate We Will

That's all folks...

2009-05-14T19:43:00.002-04:00

Celebrate We Will...is the name of this blog. And celebrate we did. Laughs and cries and memories that thanks to this blog I will never ever forget. It just seems like this particular part of my life that I share has come to the end of its chapter. Life happens...and when it starts to happen again I will blog about it again, but on a different url. Once I get it started, I'll post a link for anyone who cares to follow along. A bittersweet adios to you my blog....

I did a lot this weekend...

2009-05-10T20:28:00.004-04:00

I tried,
I failed,
I cried,
I hugged,
I avoided,
I procrastinated,
I cursed,
I distracted myself,
I eyed,
I thought,
I remembered,
I reminisced,
I am thankful,
I smiled,
I cried,
I stared,
I thought,
I took a deep breath,
I prayed,
I read,
I cried...and cried,

I signed.

QOTD

2009-05-06T21:53:00.001-04:00

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.”

-August Wilson

Mental Health Vacay!

2009-05-03T20:39:00.005-04:00

I went on a weekend getaway with my bestie Heather. We left on Friday morning and got back tonight (Sunday). We had a ridiculously good time. We got lots of sun. We played for hours in the sand and ocean like we were teenagers or something. We ate some amazing crab legs at dinner and Burger King at midnight. We met new friends. We listened to music and danced and got our noses pierced. We talked about life on the beach at night and listened to the peacefulness of the ocean. We laughed until we cried. I will never forget this trip... :)

Run 8

2009-04-08T20:27:00.002-04:00

Taking two weeks off is stupid. Tonight hurt...bad. Worse than any other run. I picked up where I left off with 2 4-min. runs, but just barely. My nasty cough is not gone yet so the deep breathing just made it worse. My head is pounding and my legs hurt. It's gonna take a lot more than weather to get me off this course again. Hot bath and early bedtime.

My top 3 reasons...

2009-04-05T19:31:00.002-04:00

...why I haven't been running lately.

1. Weather. So last week it did nothing but rain...all week. I think we had one nice day but the pollen was a yellow haze that I didn't feel like running in. Since then the weather's still be crappy. This week isn't going to be much better. For some stupid reason the temps are going to be in the 20s and 30s here at the beginning of this week with still more rain on the way. Grrrr. Hopefully by the middle of this week I'll be able to get back out there.

2. Sickness. I acquired a nasty cold. It only lasted for a few days...thanks to the all the meds I got shot up with yesterday, but the chest/cough part is still not fun. I'm hoping this also wraps itself up this week.

3. The L-Word. I know what you're thinking...lazy? ;) Well..a lil bit, but I was actually gonna say Life. Sometimes life just gets in the way! I worked a lot at my second job this weekend and hung out with some friends. I had a really good time and the people who I was with help my sanity as much as running does. So I've been busy and just really not devoting as much time as I should to my new habit. That will hopefully change this week though. I've had a nice few weeks here at the new place. I've had days in the past month where all the 'boxes' I've created in my life were getting jumbled up and I was losing my balance. I still have some boxes to eliminate, but at least for now I have a calm and steady grasp on all of them. This week at work may get a little stressful. My kids are taking their state tests so send some good thoughts my way.

Next post: run update! :)

Run 7

2009-03-26T21:06:00.002-04:00

8 min walk
4 min run
4 min walk
4 min run
10 min walk

Ouch. My calves hurt like a mother tonight. I am literally limping. I'm not sure if the running is catching up to me (haha) or I'm not stretching good enough before/after. It feels like someone's stabbing knives in them. Hopefully I can figure out what caused it and prevent this in the future...cause damn, my calves are mooin'. :(

One (or two) more run(s) on this week 2 goal and I'm ready to move on to week 3! I have a new running crew though, and that makes it even better! :)

Run 6

2009-03-24T21:15:00.002-04:00

I felt like I was a few inches from the edge today...I had visits and words of encouragement from friends, so that helped. Then tonight the Bells were going to the track with Mike. Enough is enough...get off the couch and out of this house. That thought turned into this...

Week 2 goal = met.

8 min walk
4 min run
4 min walk
4 min run
10 min walk

It hurt like hell but felt amazing at the same time. My sanity is slowly coming back. :) I'm going to continue this routine several more times this week then move on to my week 3 goal. This is part of an 8 week program...and I'm planning on getting one of these once I am halfway there and complete my week 4 goal.

Honesty...

2009-03-23T23:21:00.003-04:00

It's not always runs and new experiences. It's not always an open future and new opportunities. Some days...it's looking behind me and mourning.

I can't smile everyday. I can't think positively everyday. I don't feel good everyday and I'm not strong everyday. I'm only human.

Right this second...I can't smile. I can't think positively, I don't feel good or strong. Today...I just feel sad. Really...sad.

Tomorrow morning my feet will hit the floor and I can only hope for a better day.

Run 5

2009-03-22T13:25:00.002-04:00

8 min walk
3 min run
3 min walk
3 min run
3 min walk
2 min run
8 min walk/pray I don't pass out....

How did that become so hard?? Maybe it was the heat. I was also running a total of 6 minutes before, and today went up to 8. I guess this isn't supposed to be easy. I always feel so great after though..(well..about 20 min. after). I learned a bit more about stretching today and I really need to make that part of my routine. Oh...and I found one of my 'power songs'. Killing in the name by Rage. It makes me angry and push through whatever hurts at the moment.

Today's plans are to go get a small grill and cook out with a few friends on the back deck. The new place is clean (pics soon) and I'm ready to just chill and eat and live here. I'll try to take some pics. This will be the first time I've ever operated or cooked off a grill on my own...so it could get interesting!

C'mon Tooth Fairy!

2009-03-19T20:23:00.003-04:00

Chase told me this evening that all the kids in his class have been losing teeth lately. He looked so bummed, and asked me when he was going to get to lose a tooth. I checked around, but they all feel snug. I tried to encourage him that they would come out soon enough. It didn't seem to cheer him up much. Later he asked me for a piece of paper and a pencil...then asked me how to spell "haven't". I found this under his pillow tonight while he was in the tub...

Run 4

2009-03-18T21:59:00.002-04:00

10 min walk
10 min alternating walk/run at 2 min. intervals
10 min walk

Feeling stronger and pushing a little harder each time. Running does more for my mind right now than it does for my body, which is a good thing. Today was a rough day, but I felt tons better after leaving the track. Well...not tons, but better. :) The fact is...some days are just so much harder than others.

Run 3

2009-03-17T21:04:00.002-04:00

Back to the pavement today...with the company of my bestie. This go around was much easier than last time, so I'm hoping I create a pattern with that. I'm gonna go one or two more times on this routine then it's time to 'step' (tehee) it up a notch!

Tonight...

10 min walk
10 min alternating walk/run at 2 min. intervals
10 min walk

I felt really good after! I also got a phone call on the way home about a part time job every other Saturday at the Country Kitchen in Barnesville. "S'more sweet tea there shugah??" It's just gonna be a lil extra spending money, but Chase will be at his dad's so I think it's gonna be a good thing. Come down and see me! I'm starting this Saturday!!

Run 2

2009-03-15T11:05:00.002-04:00

Is running 6 out of 30 minutes really considered a "run"? Maybe I need a new title for these....

So I a had run planned for this morning, but woke up to more rain. I was feeling energized and ready to go so I was kinda bummed about the weather. Around that time I was reminded.."It's not acid..it's just rain". That was all I needed.

Several layers later I was at the track. My ipod was fully charged this time and it really does make a ton of difference. I can probably make every song lyric apply to my life in some way, but it seemed like my ipod was talking to me this morning.

The bad news is the track here in Milner is kinda old, so there were parts that were completely flooded with water. I walked around them for the first 10 minutes. The second walk/run 10 minutes were another story. I stopped worrying about the water and just ran. Within seconds my feet were soaked up to my knees. I also got hot pretty quickly, so several layers had to come off.

The good news?? I did it. I met this week's goal on day 2. During my middle 10 I ran for 6 minutes and walked for 4 (alternating every two minutes). I was surprised how quickly 2 minutes went by. While I am proud of myself for being able to do it, I'm not moving to goal 2 yet. I'm going to stick with the same routine the rest of the week with the new goal being for it to be a lil easier to do. It was rough. It doesn't seem like a lot of running, but it was for me. By the 3rd round of running I was hurting. I really do think the rain helped though. It made me feel free and energized.

If you don't want to run, just go out and jump in a big ol' rain puddle. You'll see what I mean. :)

Run 1

2009-03-12T23:31:00.002-04:00

Well...here we go. I'm in the new place and I'm surrounded by a new quiet that I'm starting to get used to. I still feel that itch..."find something to do, find a distraction, what's next??" But I scratch it a hell of a lot less often than I used to and that's a good thing. What it leaves me with is a lot of down time. I've used this time to chill and get things settled and most importantly bond with Chase. I found myself exhausted after week 1 of being a single parent again. I've also found that I am totally ok with the aloneness that this new place brings. It's a really good feeling...today. :)

So with down time comes the need for a "hobby". My old hobbies were umm...not so healthy to say the least, so I've been in the market for a few new ones. Knitting?? nah. Scrapbooking? blegh. Reading? Well this one is good, and would just be an extension to an already good/healthy hobby I have in my love for books. This old hobby, and the inspiration from a friend, both lead me to a book called The Complete Book of Women's Running. In the past week I've torn into this book. It's an easy read and it answers so many questions that are common to people who have no idea where the hell to start when it comes to putting their feet to the pavement and just doing it.

I'm certainly starting as a beginner. I'm following the book as close as I can, and I've set a goal for myself. It's part of an 8 week plan...

Week 1 - 30 minutes
10 min. walk
10 min. walk/run - alternating 2 min. walk/2 min. run
10 min. walk

Tonight was my first night. I was very surprised! For one...my feet hurt like HELL. I have good running shoes that are made for the type of runner I am (learned that in the book too), but damn. Running hurts my feet. I also realized that I have GOT to stop smoking if I'm going to take this seriously. My chest was a combination of coldness and fire with every deep inhale of oxygen. Not a good feeling. Lastly, I did better than I thought I would! I didn't bring a watch, and my ipod was dead, but I had two friends beside me to cheer me on as I ran two laps around the small track here in our town. I did (roughly) the 10 min. warm up and cool down with a short run in between. I'm thinking it was about 3 minutes of non stop running but it wasn't timed and I didn't alternate it with walking for that middle 10 minute block. It was still a success though! Now, thanks to those two friends, I have a stop watch that I'm going to start using to make sure I meet my weekly goal(s). My ipod is charging now and I'm ready for another trip to the track tomorrow. It's only day 1...and I have a LONG way to go, but I'm ready. I felt powerful and healthy and motivated tonight. I hope it stays. I'm going to try to use my blog as a journal of how everything goes, but I'll post other life updates as well. Here goes nothing!

Looking Forward...

2009-03-02T20:40:00.003-05:00

What a crazy few weeks I've had. Too many changes that have left my head spinning a bit. I moved into my new place this weekend. A super cute 2 bedroom 2 bath apartment that feels like a little house. Patrick and Marlena are my new neighbors and I am SO thankful to have them so close! There are times when the sadness feels overwhelming, but other times the new opportunities have me feeling a little excited. I had some help this weekend from some awesome friends. I've made several 'mistakes' in the past few weeks, and probably could have done a few things differently, but the people who mean the most to me and love me unconditionally have really shown their faces lately. I am thankful for that. I have had my eyes opened lately...to people who are not healthy for me to have in my life, to people who have always been there and created deeper roots, to awesome new friends who remind me to breathe and help put things into perspective. To put things bluntly, I am finding myself all over again...or..for the first time. It's an interesting journey, but it's a good thing.

I want to post pics of the new crib...but for now I have snow pics! Among the moving and unpacking we got some hellah snow this weekend! It was beautiful and peaceful and actually helped my sanity this weekend! Here are a few pics...thank you Patrick for coming over for a snowball fight with Chase!

This is definitely a soul searching experience, and I'm working on loving myself. Chase is taking things really well. He's excited about the new place and he's seemed to let go of Wes easily. Part of me thinks that he's super mature and taking things well, another part of me thinks that his idea of 'commitment' is so skewed that I'm going to have some work to do down the road. Both of these are probably true...but we've really bonded this weekend and I'm thankful for that.

This past month has found me loved and lost, strong and weak, broken down and tall...but I'm looking forward. I see future nights of tears and laughs and new experiences. I am learning how to be alone and how to be ok with being alone. I'm learning how to listen to myself and really search for what I want and what I need and what's best for Chase and I. Here's to not only a new chapter, but a whole new book. I want to find the inspiration in myself that other people see, and find a new normal.

I am going to take a few pics of the new place, and post them soon. :) Here's to a new Jess.

I'm movin' on...

2009-02-21T03:50:00.002-05:00

So I usually don't like to post lyrics. I think it's kinda cheesy, but these touch me too close to home not to post....

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame,
trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on

Turning the page...

2009-02-19T09:00:00.002-05:00

This song usually gets stuck in my head today, but it applies to me more today than it ever did before...

"Say, here I am, on the road again. there I am, up on the stage.
Here I go, playing star again.
There I go, turn the page..."

In recent silly news...I watched my first scary(ish) movie! For anyone who doesn't know, I do NOT watch horror movies. I'm taking 'baby steps'...and I'll blog about it soon.

My Siblings...

2009-02-12T22:04:00.002-05:00

My brother John and my sister Jackilyn. The three of us could tell some stories! My brother's birthday is coming up in a few days. He will be 29! I have the most vivid memories of us as children. I would pedal my bike as fast as I could to try to keep up with him. I tried playing Nintendo with my two fingers on the A B buttons instead of using my thumb...just like he did. Whatever he did and wherever he went...I wanted to be there too. I idolized him. He has a calm, old soul. He is rational and thinks everything through. We are opposites in that aspect. I cannot recall having one.single.fight with my brother. He is amazing and I am going to make sure he knows that more often.

My sister is 19. When I was 19, I moved out and got pregnant. The head she has on her shoulders is so much more steady than mine was at that age. She is stubborn as HELL and she's determined...we are similar in that aspect. :) She has dealt with more in her past few years than most teenagers should need to, but she's a stronger person for it. Anytime I think the memory of my dad is fading, I look at Jack and see him. In her appearance, her walk, her shoulders, her attitude, and her problem solving skills..(or lack thereof!) ;)

I miss my siblings terribly lately. They both live close, and we are having dinner Sunday. The 19th is quickly approaching us...togetherness is important. The best thing about family is not having to say a word and understanding the other person's life because it was your life too.

I'm starting a new journey in my life...and I want them both to be a huge part of it. I am looking forward to reconnecting. :)

Photo Tag!

2009-02-08T19:47:00.003-05:00

I was tagged by Heather! Here is the fourth pic from the fourth folder on my computer..

It has Heather in it! And her boy Charlie Fekadu. They are looking out at the big mountains. This picture was taken last year on our trip to the Blue Ridge Mtns. Altogether it was Wes, Me, Chase, Heather, Adam, Charlie, Catherine, Dustin, and Owen. We loaded up the cars and drove up for the weekend. It was bbbbbeeeaaauuutiful up there! We stayed in a gorgeous cabin right on the side of a mountain. We grilled and drank and hung out in the hot tub and played games. I remember getting Cat tipsy on my Bacardi limon drinks and I remember making Heather hot tea in the morning b/c she lost her voice. I remember our kids playing together and going fishing! (Ok..we 'paid' to fish), but we brought that shit home and fried it up! It was amazing! It was a fun vacation! I need another one reallll soon. :)

Who Nose?

2009-01-29T20:17:00.002-05:00

I really really really want to pierce my nose. I'vI want a small diamond stud just like this one. I've always kinda wanted to, but for some reason today...I just really need to. It's small and cute and I know I would LOVE it. Hmm...dress code at work doesn't exactly allow for it....buuuuut. sigh. Maybe they won't notice??

I want one!!

ok ok...let's try this again.

2009-01-19T11:02:00.002-05:00

blogging that is. not necessarily to entertain or inform the .8 readers out there...sort of just to get it out of my head. :)

i never did blog about new years eve. or post pictures. but it was fun! promise. if you were there, you know how awesome it was. if you weren't, you missed a good one! even with the 'vomitpalooza' situations.

picking up from this weekend. fun times!! life's kinda been one big ol' party since the new year started...and i'm kinda digging that! i did some dancing friday night with some awesome friends, and also got to see a show in atlanta saturday night. liz rode up there with us to see jay bang on the drums and i can honestly say it rocked my face off! (i'm gonna borrow that...mkay?) last night the drum banging continued...only this time on jay's rockband drums. we also played around with liz's wiifit. it was the first time i'd played with one but it was FUN! heather...we need to get one for your house!

today is mlk day. chase and i are both out of school, and as you can see from my last paragraph i could use some rest. chase was with his dad this weekend so we're gonna chillax together and i'm gonna try to get some housework done. so far i've failed at the second part...but i'm hoping to find some motivation soon. it just seems like a good day to lay on the couch and be introspective. :)

Spoiled rotten Christmas!

2008-12-31T10:22:00.003-05:00

Merry Christmas! Ok...so technically today is New Year's Eve, but it's never too late to blog about Christmas, right? We have had an amazing week and a half at home! I have two NICE LONG weeks off from work and sometimes I even forget that I even have a classroom waiting for me to go back to next week! It's been so nice to just rest and relax and have a little FUN! Chase and I have stayed in our pj's until pm hours and and stayed up waaayyy too late! We spent Christmas Eve at my Mom's and everyone was very nice. :) Christmas day was shared with the in-laws, Chase's dad, and playing games with friends. Chase got everything he asked for from Santa and then some. Wes and I felt a twinge of sadness while we were putting out his presents, knowing that it wouldn't take many more Christmases before the magic of Santa is gone. Hopefully by then there will be another little person around to play Santa for and Chase can even be in on the game. :)

So I made it through another Christmas! Everyone I love is happy and healthy and I could not ask for more than that. My dad's physical absence was not as present as it's been in the past, and I think we're all finding our new normal without him. Remembering him in the silly things he used to say or do, and sharing our laughs and smiles when one of us remembers a funny story from the past. Now even though I had a great Christmas, I was still ready to the S%&T out of here as soon as the holiday was over! Now my house is back to normal. Rooms are cleaned and organized and new toys and clothes are put away. All the laundry is done and supplies have been gathered for the BEST party of the year! We are having a New Year's Eve party here in our garage! All of our friends are coming and Heather and I have been in planning mode for a few weeks now. My masks came yesterday and they are going to put the finishing touches on our Masquerade themed bash! I can't wait to ring in the new year with my friends tonight and I'll be sure to post (some...not all) the pictures soon!

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

Detox.....day 2

2008-11-25T17:09:00.003-05:00

So...whatever. I quit quitting. I should have listened to Laura early on. Dealing with the obsession is so much easier than the withdrawals. I've taken a good, hard look at my issue and have decided to embrace it!!

I'm off to see Edward again tonight. 8pm. And I'm so excited!! *insert high pitched squeaky voice here* I cannot wait to see it again! You'd think after the fourth time I will be fulfilled, but I also thought that about the second and third time.

See you in a few short hours my dear!!

Detox.....day 1

2008-11-24T14:03:00.002-05:00

..the day started off okay. although edward's beautiful face lingered in the back of my mind, an early dr. appt for chase kept me busy, followed by lunch with my husband. (an admittedly amazing mortal). i came home to take a nap with chase. one quick glance at my desktop pic changed it all. i've been on here for about an hour. back on youtube...even thought about how/when i could see the movie again....sigh....

i changed my desktop to a family picture. i'm going to take a nap and sleep it off. laura was right...this is harder than i thought it would be.

Stars in my eyes.....

2008-11-23T17:02:00.002-05:00

My name is Jessica, and I am an Edwardaholic. It's an addiction. It's not healthy, and it needs to stop!

"It's just a movie...it's just a movie..."

I have been trying to be rational. I've repeated this line in my head several dozen times. I went Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to see it. I think about it all the time. I listen to the cd over and over. Each time I've seen it, I get the same ache in my stomach. I'm determined I've never seen a more beautiful man in my life. I've changed my MySpace layout, my song, my computer desktop, spent countless hours on youtube watching interviews with him.....it has to stop!

I need to snap out of it. Join the real world again. I've decided the only way I can do this is to go cold turkey. I won't go back to see the movie this week (even though I'm off ALL week for Thanksgiving break), the cd is put away, and I'm staying off my computer unless absolutely necessary. (well...at least off youtube!) I am going to attempt to read New Moon, but if things get bad again I will have to put it away until I am stronger. Edward, I have to quit you. If I don't do it now, I don't know if I will ever be able to. I need my sanity back!!

I will let you all know how the detox goes. Wish me luck...

Stressed.....

2008-11-20T19:16:00.004-05:00

What a crazy few days. I am starting to realize that teaching is the hardest, greatest, most frustrating, most rewarding, most difficult, most natural, most stressful, most fulfilling job I will ever have in my life.

I can't even begin to explain what this week has been like for me. Even if I tried, and took up pages of explanation, I feel like I could never convey what it is like to walk a day in my shoes. I try to explain it to friends, and my husband. And while I can give every single detail of the day, I feel like no one will ever really understand what I am feeling. I don't want that to sound like a bad thing, or like it's anyone's fault for not understanding, but it's just something that has to be experienced to fully understand.

I remember when I was a student in elementary school and being the teacher just seemed so easy. I don't know if it was easier in the past, or I just didn't have the right view of it. Maybe it's a combination of both. Maybe it's the socioeconomic status of the school I'm in that's making the difference. I certainly don't remember going to school with kid's whose parents didn't feed them or give them clean clothes on a daily basis. Maybe that's the difference. Maybe times have just changed that much....

I keep asking myself..."Is it supposed to be this hard??" I know it's a cliche thing to hear from a teacher..."I don't get paid enough" and "This is the most stressful job ever", but those two things couldn't be more true this week. Please if you ever hear this coming from a teacher do me one favor. Believe it!! I come home at the end of the day and want to crumble into a ball on my bed and sleep.

Any given day of the week I deal with parents, co teachers, Special Ed teachers, administration, scheduling conflicts, behavior checklists, committee meetings, professional development classes and the work that comes along with them, RTI meetings, instructional meetings, faculty meetings, grade level planning, head lice, fights on the playground, grading papers, checking agendas, organizing field trips, IEP meetings, attendance reports, home visits, christmas tree decorating contests, letters to the troops, PTO meetings, paperwork, paperwork, paperwork.....wait. I'm SUPPOSED to be teaching kids, right?? That's my job, to teach these kids, but juggling all those things I mentioned (plus those things I forgot) and still trying to give the kids all I've got is a balance I'm still learning to have. I never imagined all of the baggage that comes along with teaching children.

Does is sound like I'm complaining? Well...maybe I am. But I don't mean to be. I just really need another person to understand what my days are like, and that's pretty hard. I just really need another person to help me understand that what I am doing is impacting these children in a positive way. I love my job. I never want to do anything else except teach. And some days I walk away with a smile on my face and a confidence that I've got it all together and things are better than I ever could have imagined. Today though....today I'm tired. I'm pushing as hard as I can on a wall that is moving inch by inch and it's exhausting. The good part is, deep down, I still feel like the rest of this year will fly by just as fast as the first 4 months did, and when it does, I'm going to smile and wave goodbye to my fourth grade babies and know they are better, smarter children because of me. And THAT's why I get up everyday and go back. That's why I will continue to give my babies all that I've got....

p.s. one more day until thanksgiving break!! :)

Happy 2nd Anniversary!!

2008-11-17T21:51:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow I will celebrate my 2nd anniversary with Wes! I was going through some old cards and keepsakes that Wes has when I came across a list of the top 100 reasons why I love him. I gave this list to him right after we got married. As I read through the list I felt like the luckiest woman alive because two years later all of these things are still true, and I know 50 years from now they still will be....

1.You take care of me and Chase.
2.You are genuine.
3.You have a huge heart.
4.You are honest.
5.You make me laugh.
6.You love my hugs and kisses.
7.You force me to open up.
8.You care about how I feel.
9.You have an amazing faith.
10.You have beautiful eyes.
11.You take care of me when I'm sick.
12.You always consider my feelings.
13.You love my ass ;)
14.CENSORED
15.You keep me calm.
16.You pray with me.
17.You help me see God.
18.You are understanding.
19.You are smart.
20.You have wonderful "did you knows..."
21.You let me sleep in.
22.You watch Rachel Ray with me.
23.Your smile goes all the way to your eyes.
24.You are an uber dancer.
25.You teach me words like 'uber'.
26.You are low maintenance.
27.You are the best friend I've ever had.
28.You drive the speed limit.
29.You have great hands.
30.You keep me balanced.
31.You laugh at my jokes.
32.CENSORED
33.You love my cooking.
34.You let me drive.
35.You always support me.
36.You make me feel like we are a team.
37.You take me on dates.
38.You buy me flowers.
39.You write me love notes.
40.You love camping.
41.You want me forever.
42.CENSORED
43.You grow with me everyday.
44.You are dependable.
45.You make me feel 'home' anywhere.
46.You swim in the ocean with me.
47.You make me want to be a better person.
48.You have an unique style.
49.You play the bass.
50.You pop my toes.
51.You cuddle with me.
52.You teach me lyrics to Bob Marley songs.
53.You teach me about Magic.
54.You keep all my secrets.
55.You don't judge me.
56.You are a fabulous singer.
57.You have patience with me.
58.You don't get jealous.
59.You don't try to control me.
60.You always listen to me.
61.You have goals for us.
62.CENSORED
63.You make me feel like a woman.
64.You make me proud to be your wife.
65.You buy me chocolate.
66.You look sexy in blue.
67.You love my body.
68.You take me on vacations.
69.You are trustworthy.
70.You love cookies.
71.You made me watch LOTR.
72.You give amazing massages.
73.You want to make me happy.
74.CENSORED
75.You play with our son.
76.You need to feel love.
77.You love affection.
78.You let me have control sometimes.
79.You accept my family.
80.You are laid back.
81.You secretly enjoy my lists.
82.You gave me your last name.
83.You sing with me.
84.You let me vent.
85.You show your emotions.
86.You are willing to work for things.
87.You are not obsessed with football.
88.You are affectionate.
89.You appreciate me.
90.You have sloppy handwriting.
91.You need stability.
92.You like to fix things.
93.You are mild mannered.
94.You love chicken.
95.You are vulnerable.
96.You respect women.
97.You don't like fighting.
98.You are an amazing father.
99.You make me feel secure.
100.You said "I Do!"

Happy Anniversary Wes!! I love your stinkin' guts!!

A question of love....

2008-11-12T15:17:00.002-05:00

"This is the only world we have...and the other guy counts, too"

This is worthy of sharing. So beautifully said; he puts the MAN in Olbermann!!

Sick and yucky....

2008-11-11T17:03:00.002-05:00

This is what I feel like today. I dragged myself to school this morning and survived the day....barely. I hate how you feel fine one day and wake up feeling like HELL the next. I'm all achy and my throat is killing me. I hope I am not getting strep throat! GUGHGHGHGHGH.....

I lined everything up for a sub when I left school today just in case I wake up in the morning feeling worse. Tonight I'm making this new recipe I found...so maybe that will help me feel better.

And so I blog...

2008-11-10T21:13:00.006-05:00

Lately it's been hard to keep up with this blog! Between MySpace and Facebook my social networking to do list has been full! I don't think anyone reads this who doesn't 'know' me on said social networks, so the task seems a bit redundant. I also ask myself a lot..."Who exactly am I talking to when I'm blogging?" Most of the people who read are in my daily lives so they know all my updates and stories. I guess I really need to remember to blog for ME! Although I do love my fans...all 6 of you! I thought about trying to point this blog in a more specific direction...family? job?? friends? I need to just sit down every day or so and type about whatever comes to mind. So that's the plan....I am going to try to start blogging again. Consider this your warning! Boring, random tidbits headed your way!

Well for starters, I threw an AWESOME Halloween party at my house!! I don't even feel bad bragging about it because it was amazing. Here are some pics to prove it! These parties make me feel so lucky to have the most amazing friends. I also went out for a friend's Bachelorette party this weekend! I will post pics of that night soon, too!

Making history. Changing America.

2008-10-17T21:01:00.003-04:00

With a positive attitude, a respect for both candidates, a hope for a better future not only for myself but for our children, a smile on my face, a love for this country, two closed ears to the negativity that this election brings out, a patience for ignorance, and a hunger for change, I post this video.

Yes we can.

Movie Tag!

2008-10-12T10:25:00.005-04:00

Ok...I'm not great at these, but I was kinda tagged by Heather. I've been on Fall Break this week, aka 'not doing anything productive and being completely lazy' week. Heather had some great picks you should check out! There are a few that I share with her! Here are the ones I've decided to add.

In no particular order......

I absolutely love the theme music to Pirates of the Caribbean! The movies are amazing and let's face it, you hear that soundtrack and you know you're about to see two of the most beautiful men alive. You know you pretend you're Keira Knightly, too! Last year, I even dressed my family up as pirates for Halloween!!

A classic. I can't hear this song and not dance. I watched this movie TOO many times to remember growing up. Again, I watched it and pretended and I was Jennifer Grey! (See a reoccurring theme here?) There are several great songs to choose from, but this scene is my favorite!!

Since I'm going back to my childhood, I can't talk about movies without talking about this one.
I would intentionally leave a mess in the kitchen, just so I could reenact the last scene where Elizabeth Shue is frantically cleaning the kitchen. It's one of my favorite movies of ALL time, so this song has to make the list!

So this kind of random, but I really love this movie! George Clooney is just sexy, but this song is great! I have a soft spot for old 'banjo' country music. If you haven't seen it, Netflix it people!!

Ugh. Just looking this scene up to post on here has me in tears. This movie is a MUST SEE. I think I've seen it 4 times now, but I would watch it again in a heartbeat! You'll laugh and cry throughout the entire movie, and secretly wish you'd married an Irish man. You'll plan future trips to Ireland like I did with my best friend, and you'll go out and buy the movie so you can watch it over and over again. Quick...grab the tissues!

The Karate Kid

2008-09-17T21:17:00.004-04:00

Chase started karate this year, and he LOVES it! It is so cute and it makes me want to explode with pride. Here is a picture from his first tournament. He is normally pretty shy, but he got up in front of a room of about 200 people and did his 'Star Block Set'. He is the best. kid. ever.

When all else fails.....

2008-09-17T21:17:00.003-04:00

Bribe us! That's my son's new motto. He is, as I assume most kids are, always bummed when it's bath time. It takes forever to get him in, and even longer to get out. Tonight, I overheard a conversation that made me laugh out loud.....

Wes: "Okay buddy...time to take a bath."

(pause)

Chase: "Hooowwww abboouuuuttttt......" (pulls wallet out of back pocket) "I give you five dooollllarrsss....." (pulls a five out of his wallet and waves it around) "and I don't have to take a baaaaaath....??"

Wes didn't take the bait. Guess we're not that hard up for cash!! Nice try though!!

My biggest issue....

2008-09-04T18:51:00.005-04:00

In an internet full of 'who said what' and 'who said it was true' and 'who said it was false', I found this directly from Obama's website. I have remained objective...trying to whole heartedly see both sides. As an elementary school teacher, these few paragraphs solidified my vote in this election.

Click Here. Wow. Compare it to this? No thank you!

Obama - Biden

Nice move...I must say.

2008-08-29T19:56:00.003-04:00

Well played McCain....

I have always called myself a Democrat, and really hoped Sen. Clinton would be our next leader. When it comes to politics in general, I assume that ignorance is bliss and continue with my back woods life. I have realized lately that I am letting one or two very personal, very strong moral beliefs decide my political party.

I am more invested in this presidential election than ever before. I want to try to educate myself as much as possible and not judge. Deep down I feel like they are all a bunch of crooks, but I want to learn as much as I can to make my vote count for me.

Today's news was the first that made my eye brow raise, and made me think harder about our future Commander in Chief.

If anyone has any good (legit) links to info...send them my way!!

Lesson for the day...

2008-08-13T19:33:00.004-04:00

Being a new teacher is stressful. I have learned in the past two weeks that I am making this job so much harder on myself than it has to be. Day by day though, I feel like I am slowly finding my way and becoming a decent teacher. It's so much more work than I imagined (I thought school was tough). It's 80% less glamorous and 80% more work than I ever thought.

On to more positive things. Lets have a problem:solution lesson.....

1. Problem: I need to make a LOT of copies of things. Rubrics, graphic organizers, etc. I have been going in early/staying late to get all of these copies made. The two ladies on my grade level are awesome, so we always make copies to share. (75 copies). I have been going through paper like crazy and hogging the copier.

Solution: Volunteers!! I found a tray outside the office that had papers in it with sticky notes that said..."75 copies..." and the teacher's name. What what?? I investigated further...people will actually MAKE COPIES FOR YOU! How nice is that?? 30 minutes a day worth of nice. Who knew...

2. Problem: I need to laminate things. Multiplication drills, math centers, index cards for Concentration, etc. Now normally, I would be MORE than happy to laminate and cut things out. For some reason I really really enjoy it. Nowadays? I am running around in circles, so laminating has become tedious.

Solution: Volunteers!! I walk into the laminating room and someone stops me. "Do you need me to do that for you?" I have no idea why, but I can't help but feel bad...like this is supposed to be my responsibility "Oh...it's ok. I know you're probably busy", I said. "Nah...I actually don't have anything to do! I don't mind at all!" (reminder Jessica...they are VOLUNTEERS! This is what they do!) So I cave and hand her my stack. Less than 20 minutes later and my neatly laminated and cut out pile is on my desk! YAAAAYY!! Volunteers are awesome.

3. Problem: We have a very big playground. I'm yelling everyday for kids to slide on their bottoms, don't play in the creek....blah blah.

Solution: A whistle.

4. Problem: I feel like this career has taken over my life. I work from 7:30 to at least 5:00 everyday, pick up Chase from karate, homework, dinner, bath...then back to the computer room for at least 2 more hours to work. I haven't taken the first picture of my family, blogged about anything lately besides my classroom, and can't seem to talk about anything else. I am so ready to feel like the old me again.

Solution: Well....the bottle of wine and bath salts I got for my birthday helped for a few nights...but I'm hoping the permanent solution will work itself out. (I'm sure it will have something to do with realizing that asking for help does not equal weakness, and to STOP making to do lists....) :(

Back in the real world, Chase is loving first grade. He also started karate! It is so cute to see him doing his 'moves' and I am SO glad he loves it. This weekend will also be nice. Wes is turning 30! so hopefully we can find a way to relax together as a family and enjoy it. Oh...and wanna see the cutest thing in the world? Wanna see what I look at when I need a smile?? Click Here.

I've taken a leave of absence....

2008-08-10T20:07:00.003-04:00

from my blog. :( I still hop on every once in a while to read some of my favorite bloggers, but I have not had the time/energy to put together anything interesting to share. Any ideas why??

This is where I have been either mentally, physically, and usually both.

Bye Bye Summer...

2008-07-22T11:06:00.001-04:00

The panic attack I had in my classroom last week, induced by the amount of work I still have to do, quickly reminded me that summer is over. :( And that makes me sad.

I have had such an amazing summer at home with my boy. We've spent days on the road, in the sun, in the water, and on the couch. He's super excited to be going into the first grade and I'm excited/anxious about starting my first year teaching. I know when school starts we will go back to our strict routines...school, homework, dinner, bath, book, prayers, bed. Chase (and Mommy) will thrive off of this routine and our relaxing days together will be long gone. In an effort to try to remember and say goodbye to this awesome summer, I made a list of 5 things that made this summer amazing....

1. The Water! We went to a local park with a few slides twice, went to White Water and ran around like I was a kid again, and spent countless day in the pool throwing Chase and watching him almost grow gills. He is more tan than I've ever seen him and he's such a great swimmer! With the summers in GA, we may be able to continue this on the weekends until Halloween!!

2. My pink bandanna. See number 1? The water led to several days of no makeup and letting my hair air dry. It was great to be able to wake up, throw the bandanna on and be done!

3. Parties. And lots of them! We had parties at the Worthans for Memorial Day and July 4th. We also had a great birthday party for Chase. (All of these also included #1). (And probably #2)! We played and swam and drank with friends. The pool is starting to be filled more with children than adults and I love it!

4. The Bachelorette. This season was great! Heather and I had a date night once a week and became fascinated by the amount of weirdos and romeos on this show. It was a fun way to have some adult time during our week, and Heather always had a late night snack for us!

5. School Supplies. This includes, but is not limited to, teacher websites, forums, blogs, professional development classes, classroom management books, lesson plans, frantic phone calls to Heather E., online shopping for supplies, TONS of to do lists...etc. I know this is supposed to be my summer vacation, but I couldn't help being drawn to every office/school supply in WalMart or online. I've made countless lists and watched the pile in my office grow until there was no room left (and I banned myself from all things school supplies related). The pile was a constant reminder that this wonderful summer is going to come to a screeching halt very, very soon.

Well. As of yesterday the pile is gone. Everything has been moved to my classroom and the pile was replaced by a computer and a small desk for Chase. I used to stare at that pile and get so anxious waiting for the day that it would be gone and in my classroom. Honestly, it's even more depressing with it gone. Summer is officially over. New Teacher orientation is tomorrow. Preplanning is next week. First day of school the next. This is what I have been waiting for, right? But I still can't help but feel sad to say goodbye to an awesome summer. Hopefully once I FINALLY get into my classroom (janitors...floors...DON'T ask.) I will get my mojo back and it will be an amazing school year.

Until then...I still have today. :) Maybe I'll throw on my pink banadana and play in the water with my boy!!

Twilight

2008-07-21T00:54:00.003-04:00

I read this 500 page book in under 24 hours. Once I got 100 pages in I was hooked. It is a very easy read, but there were times during the book when my heart raced and I couldn't turn the page fast enough. It has given me some much needed distraction over the weekend as I wait for this crazy, busy week to start. Only two weeks until the first day of school! Good thing I picked up the next book in the series to dive into when things get crazy this week!

If you haven't read this book, you should sink your teeth into it as soon as possible!! :)

After pictures!

2008-07-15T22:22:00.003-04:00

So the past week or so has been a little busy. I have been starting to freak out and prepare for my classroom, that I STILL have not been inside of since the before pictures, but I've been able to get a ton of work done from home! Including...my bookshelves!! Remember these??? Well...ugly, awful bookshelves have been turned into THESE! My very
pregnant Heather
came over to help! I love them!!

A great start to the holiday weekend...

2008-07-04T00:24:00.002-04:00

Tonight I met a few of the women I went to school with for so long. When it comes to Mercer, we've been through it ALL together, and I'm honestly not sure I would have stuck it out if I didn't have these girls to lean on! We've come so far together, and still sat at the table tonight shocked, saying "Can you believe it?? We are actually teachers!" :)

I wish we could get together more often, but I'm so thankful to have a dinner out with them every few weeks. Kristen made us the CUTEST wooden blocks personalized with "Mrs. Addison's Class" to hang from our door. She even matched the themes of our classrooms! Adorable!!

As the next few weeks fly by and I get closer and closer to the first day of school, I know I will be making daily phone calls to these girls. I feel like they truly understand my anxiety and excitement and I can't wait until we can get together again! You girls ROCK!!

MORE before pictures!

2008-07-02T21:16:00.004-04:00

I realized I have all of these 'before' pictures! I have a lot of work to do to meet all of these 'after' expectations I'm setting! Pre-planning is right around the corner, and I found out that I'm locked out of the school the rest of this week and next week too! I'm trying not to stress and think about all the work I have to do in that classroom (yeah, it still looks the same as though before classroom pictures a few posts back).

So my classroom came equipped with three very old, very thickly painted bookshelves. There is no telling how long these shelves have looked this way, but I really couldn't stand it! So here are the 'before' pictures. The shelves had to be sanded, then primed, then painted. Then hopefully the fabulous and artistic Heatherbean came come over here and add some detailing before she easily and painlessly spits that baby out!! (Using The Secret Heather!!)

My Big Boy...

2008-06-28T11:17:00.004-04:00

Chase turned 6 years old one week ago today. I know it's crazy, but I really think he looks different as a 6 year old than he did the week before when he was 5. I told him so too, the morning of his birthday...

Me: "Chase! You look 6 already! How are you getting so big?"

Chase: (bummed) "I dunno...I know I'm 6, but I still feel 5."

Me: "Maybe it'll take a few days..."

A few days later he came up to me and said, "I don't feel like I'm 5 anymore! I can tell I'm 6!" He's getting SO tall and lanky and growing up way too fast. We've had an amazing summer at home together, and I am so thankful that I am going to have summers like this with him for a long time. We had a pool party for his birthday and friends and family came to celebrate. We had great food and a great time! Happy Birthday Big Boy!...(p.s. you'll always be my baby)

And so it begins...

2008-06-27T11:11:00.002-04:00

These are officially my 'before' pictures of the room I will spend most of the next year in. There is so much to do! My room also came with three very old, very dirty, very thickly painted bookshelves. I have some before pictures of those I will post soon. It's an old building, but I'm hoping that after I'm finished with it old will = character. :) Wish me luck!!

Heather

2008-06-23T10:07:00.006-04:00

Charlotte on Sex and The City says a person gets two great loves in their lives. I'm lucky enough to be 25 years old and have already met my quota. My adult loves have been my husband, and my Heather.

Heather and I have souls that fit together like puzzle pieces. We go together like...

Thelma and Louise

Laverne & Shirley

Peanut Butter & Jelly

I have known Heather since I was 17 years old and she was 19. We were just a couple of kids working at a restaurant that would give us memories that still make us smile today. It was during those times that I learned the basics about Heather. She loved music, she loved having fun, she hates her (beautiful) hair, and she tells you what you need to hear even when you really don't want to hear it.

I made so many mistakes and bad choices back in those days, and Heather was always there to swoop in and save me. Even when we both knew that I knew better, she would be there to pick me up in the rain and tell me I deserved better. We also had nights that were filled with fun and laughter. Knocking on old lady's doors on accident and staying up all night long talking. Going to work on no sleep and making up songs while we poured ranch dressing. We worked all morning to have money to spend that night. We bought matching leather pants (her's blue, mine red) and matching flower tattoos. We smoked cigarettes and ate whatever we wanted. We were an unstoppable duo.

Then came what I call 'the breakup'. For a year or so, we just didn't talk. My consistently bad choices helped in pushing her away, and her drive to make a struggling relationship work pulled her away. During that time I got pregnant and gave birth to Chase. We ended up reconnecting in a WalMart of all places, and I met her new fiance: Adam. I was asked to be in their wedding, and was ironically matched to walk down the aisle with a groomsman named Wesley. :)

Heather helped me find the strength to leave an unhealthy relationship and start believe what she had been telling me all along: that I really did deserve all the happiness this life had to offer. Heather has a way of making life seem like a fairytale, and one of the best things I've learned from being in her life is that if you think like she does, your life soon becomes a fairytale.

Since those 'good ole days' life has changed in some ways, and in other ways it's stayed the same. We're both happily married now, to men who make us laugh and support us and love us with all they have. Our husbands are best friends and we live right around the corner from each other. Since those 'good ole days' we've had to grow up a lot. We've trashed the cigarettes, boxed up the leather pants, but still eat whatever we want. (Probably the only reason we boxed up the leather pants!) We can't stay out drinking all night and sleep all day, and we usually don't let the laundry pile up to our ears anymore. But we're wives. And we're mommies. And those parts of us bring rewards far greater than any hangover.

Heather has always been there to pick me up when I fall down. When my dad died, she was there. Not to say "it's going to be ok" or "I know how you feel", but to say "it just f*%@!ng sucks, and I'm here for you". She asked the questions that she knew I was thinking. We've cried together and laughed until we've cried together. We've thrown parties that we sweated over until the last minute, then plopped down in something cute to act like it was just 'a little something we threw together'.

Heather knows more about me than any other human on this planet. And she loves me for all of it. The good and the bad. She is accepting, open minded, and loves unconditionally. She sincerely wants everyone to know love and happiness. She is braver than she gives herself credit for. She is my cheerleader when I need a pick me up, and my diary when I need to vent. She's my support system when I'm stressed, and my voice of reason when I'm being irrational. She's artistic and talented in ways she doesn't even realize. She's an amazing mother, and I could never explain how lucky I feel to have her in my life. We've been best friends for almost 10 years now, and I can't wait to see what memories the next 50 years bring. So here's to more memories, more babies, more laughs, more tears, more vacations, more love, and to fitting back into those leather pants of ours! Ok...maybe not the pants part. Heather...I love yousa. :)

Fun at the Water Park!!

2008-06-20T22:15:00.004-04:00

Today was so much fun!!! Me, Chase, Heather, Charlie, Catherine, Owen, Laurie, Maya, Ellie, and Mary went to High Falls Water Park! It's a pretty small 'park' but it's close and cheap and the kids (and adults) had SO much fun!! We got there early and were able to snag a good spot for the day! Chase and I slid and slid and he finally got the courage (ok..I finally got the courage to let him) to go by himself!

It was just the perfect day. Great girlfriends, great kids, and great fun in the water. I am so lucky to have that group of people in my life. And it was a great way to start off Chase's birthday weekend. He turns 6 years old tomorrow. I can't believe how quickly he's growing up. We're having a grill out at my mom's pool tomorrow, so let the water fun continue!!

Happy Father's Day

2008-06-15T23:10:00.005-04:00

They just don't sell Father's Day card that are complicated enough to honor all the many men in my life. Well, Wes' dad got a typical card, because he's just a typical dad. :)

Wes is a step-dad, but he's so much more. He loves me and loves Chase more than I could explain in a blog. He takes care of us and deserves so much more than a Hallmark poem. He goes above and beyond the title of 'daddy'. I hope my words and actions let him know how much I love and appreciate him...

Chase's father is a whole separate issue. He is Chase's 'dad' by title, and that's all. He didn't get a card today. Once I realized I didn't get him a card from Chase (which I usually do) I wondered why. I realized I never once thought about it. I didn't intentionally leave him out, the thought just never crossed my mind. I also completely forgot about his birthday a few weeks ago (which Chase usually at least calls him on). It makes me wonder what his absence has caused Chase to forget about him.

I also really miss my dad today. Today isn't any harder than any other day, it's just more of a reminder. Today is one of those days that his absence is just so present. I tried to make today special for Wes, and not be sad all day. These holidays come and go and that's just what I want them to do. No need for dramatics in the middle of it's coming or going. Card shopping wasn't even that bad...even if it did take me 17.8 seconds to pick out three cards. :)

So I tried to live today as if it were any other day. I was extra sweet to my hubby, cooked his favorite things for dinner, and got him MST3K from Best Buy. Tomorrow is another day.

Give all your daddys an extra kiss from me today, and have a great week!

FRICK!

2008-06-05T21:36:00.003-04:00

My favorite word of the week. FRICK!

I had a relaxing beginning to my week, and spent Tuesday at Stone Mountain with my future Beaverbrook Family. I came home happy and excited and ready for the next year. I woke up the following morning in the worst. pain. of. my. life.

It was paralyzing. I was stuck laying on my back turned to the right and I could not budge. When I did try to get up or move my head/neck, I would feel an 'electric surge' firing away in my neck and down my back. I am known for being a pretty tough gal, but I couldn't handle it. I was crying like a baby and freaking out. Luckily, my amazing husband stayed home to nurse me back to health. I am nowhere near back to normal, but it is at least bearable. I got some pain pills from my MIL that were helping for a while, but now just make me sick and also make me feel like I have ants crawling all over me. I've had two full days of heating pads, hot showers, and mindless television. I feel like my bedroom is my dungeon of darkness. It's so frustrating to feel like your days are just wasted. My poor hubby has also come down with a nasty cold, and my bff Heatherbean AND her Feke are also both sick. What is with this infirmary right at the beginning of summer? It's amazing how much I realize I take for granted when I'm sick. :(

Luckily, Chase is feeling great and has been so helpful with sick Mommy. I think the culmination of graduation from Kindergarten and turning 6 in a few weeks has him maturing right before my eyes. He has been so sweet, and just read the entire book Green Eggs and Ham to me. I know I'll get some much needed sleep tonight after a bedtime story like that!

Memorial Day Week of Fun!

2008-05-29T15:44:00.004-04:00

It's been a crazy fun holiday weekend. It all started with a wedding I helped Catherine shoot on Saturday. The day went by super quick and I had a really good time! I have a few more weddings to do with her and I am looking forward to learning more from her in the next few weeks.

The following day was fun in the sun at my favorite place to party. Heather's parents' house! We had amazing food and Chase swam himself silly. Everyone came with their kids and the pool was packed! It is so interesting to see our group grow as more and more of us have children. I am so lucky to be a part of our amazing group of family and friends.

My weekend didn't end there. Monday we recovered and laid around the pool relaxing, then Tuesday night Wes and I went to see Natasha Bedingfield at Variety Playhouse in Atlanta! Her music holds a sentimental place in my relationship with my husband and the concert was SO much fun. We got there early enough to get pretty close and N.B. did NOT disappoint.

Think THAT was enough fun for a few days?? NAHH>....Wes was off work on Wednesday so he planned a last minute trip to Six Flags! We got up early and were lucky to have an overcast day. Most of the kids from the area were still in school so we rode EVERYTHING we wanted to...some twice! I did have to take a break half way through; I've gotten old I suppose and all those flips and turns had me spinning. But we finished the day off with one more ride on the Best Coaster Ever... GOLIATH!!!

It was so much fun running around acting like a kid with my husband. We laughed and yelled and played until we were just exhausted. We have to do that more often!!

Needless to say I spent today RESTING! And doing laundry...! Tonight it's off to tball with Chase then movie night with the girls!! We are going to watch P.S. I love you (this will be the third time for me, but believe me it's THAT good!!) Then we are getting a midnight sneak preview of SEX AND THE CITY!! I cannot explain how excited I am! Hopefully I can get some sleep after the movie because tomorrow morning my baby is graduating from Kindergarten!! I'm going to be a mess!

Here's to finally enjoying my summer!!!!!!!!

I really pulled it off...

2008-05-20T22:44:00.002-04:00

I GRADUATED FROM COLLEGE!! I've been playing all coy about it. The fact is I think I surprised myself by doing it. Some little voice in the back of my head kept saying that somehow, somewhere, I would screw this dream/goal of mine up. Someone would call me last minute and say "Jessica, we've actually realized that you don't deserve this degree. We apologize for any inconvenience...."

I looked at my degree the second I sat back down in my chair, JUST to make sure it really did have my name in it, and somehow I was STILL surprised and my heart skipped a bit when I saw my name on it...

I don't mean to blow this out of proportion, and I do realize I am not the first person to graduate from college, but it's just such a big deal to me. I don't come from a family of scholars. Most of my family members (besides my brother) have sort of fallen into their careers and succeeded. I'm just really proud of myself for committing to four years of learning how to be the best teacher I can be. I'm still not sure I know how to be that, but I know I'll always be a work in progress and I feel so much more confident now than I did even weeks ago. I've realized that I have compassion, respect, and love for those elementary students. I have had those things since day one. My experiences at Mercer have just taken those things and added on the skills I need to help these children build a better future for all of us. Supplies have been piling up in my office and ideas have been spilling out of my brain on a daily basis. I am determined to enjoy my summer off, but I am getting SO excited to start my career!

Ok..ok. Enough of all that. Here are some pics from the big day!!

Graduation Celebration...Need I say more??

2008-05-12T23:39:00.002-04:00

Roadtrip!!

2008-05-12T07:59:00.004-04:00

Just for one day though! Heather, Charlie, and myself are making a trip back up to Helen to take care of her car. Most people may not think that sounds like fun, but we have a good time wherever we go! Listening to music, singing, laughing, gossiping, playing with Charlie pants, and eating some delicious Helen lunch! I should be back just in time to pick up Chase from school. :)

I'm posting this at 8am, which is normally when I can't come up with more than three words that fit together in a sentence, but I slept ALL day yesterday! Most of it was a recovery from my graduation celebration weekend. I did get to see the moms in my life though. I got an awesome gift from my DH (a day at the spa) and the most special card from Chase complete with glitter and a "Thank you for making me so happy mommy". Sweet!! He said the "sprinkles" (glitter) was his favorite part. They were mine, too! Heather also got me Eat, Pray, Love. Has anyone read that yet? I've heard tons about it and kept making a mental note to buy it. Thanks Bean!

I am going to try to have some pictures up from this weekend. I had friends and decorations and graduation hats and cake and drinks and baskets full of fabulous teacher stuff and SUCH a good time. I really do have some amazing friends...

I hope all the moms out there had a special Mother's Day and everyone has a great week!!!

***Update: I didn't make it on the road trip today. Pictures from the celebration night are coming though! Graduation is only FOUR days away!!!!!!!!!!!!

Updates, Updates!!

2008-04-23T20:15:00.004-04:00

Let me start this post off with some cynicism. Am I the only person who ever feels like blogs, MySpace, Facebook, etc. are simply outlets to display our 'oh so perfect' life?? I know they are meant to be an outlet for memories, funny stories, and cute pictures of our families, but sometimes I just can't help but feel like I'm getting a glimpse of a life covered in makeup, and put up for display. I read blogs and I'm left with a feeling of..."Wow. I wish my life was that fabulous." I know this isn't the intention of people, and I actually do think my life is pretty fabulous (most of the time!). I just needed to put that out there.

Now...on with the public display of my fabulous life! Haha...

To begin with, I am officially a BEAVER!! I accepted a fourth grade position at an elementary school that has a beaver as their mascot. (My husband has had some very clever comments, btw.) I signed a contract and I got a glimpse of my classroom next year. It's so exciting and a touch overwhelming that it is all really happening.

Also, this Friday is my last day in the classroom Student Teaching. I can NOT tell you how exciting I am for school to be over!! It's been such a learning experience and I'm taking some really great memories with me. Some days I left that building in tears and others I was on cloud nine. Next week I'm picking up my cap and gown and getting ready for graduation!!!! WOOHOOO!!!!! Let the party begin!!

I haven't had a chance to upload mountain pictures!! Unfortunately it rained all weekend, and we ran into some crazy car drama on the way home, but we ended up having a really good trip. Here are some photos from the trip!

I hope everyone is having a great week!!!

Our first Shiner!!

2008-03-30T20:34:00.004-04:00

Chase has his first black eye! It's not bad, actually. He was playing baseball and got hit in the eye! I was so worried at first, but now I think it makes him looks tough!! Here's a picture of the damage!

This weekend was also my sister's Senior Prom!! I went over to my mom's to help her get ready. She looked stunning and it was a bit emotional! I know my dad would have been so proud to see how beautiful and grown up she is! Here is a picture of her with my handsome brother!

This weekend was ALSO Charlie Fekadu's birthday party! I can't wait to see all the pictures from it on Heather's blog!

This week I am on Spring Break!! It's going to be SO nice to have some relaxing time at home with Chase. Only until Thursday though, then we're off to the mountains with Heather, Catherine, and our families. We are going to fish and play and hike and have such a great time! I'm so excited!! After Spring Break I'll have just a few more weeks of Student Teaching left. I can't believe it's really all going to be over soon!

In job news, I was offered a position at an amazing school one county over from mine. It's for fourth grade and I can NOT wait to call them in the morning and accept it! Once everything is official I will post the details!! It's so exciting!!

Hope everyone has a great week! I'm sure I'll have tons of pictures from our cabin adventures posted soon!!!

Happy Easter!!

2008-03-23T21:53:00.007-04:00

We had another gorgeous day in Georgia today! It was perfect egg hunting weather! Friends and family got together at Heather's parents house for the hunt! The kids had a great time! Here are some pictures of all the fun we had!

We Won!!

2008-03-22T21:41:00.002-04:00

What a beautiful day!! The weather was perfect for Opening Day and the parade. Chase had a blast jumping in the Spacewalks while I volunteered my services at the bbq stand. (Yum!) My DH ended up with a very red forehead, but we all had a really good time. I even got a few "Hey Mrs. Addisons" from some students I ran into! Cute!!

This is Chase's third year playing baseball. Tonight was his first game of the season and he's now in a league where they keep score/outs/strikes, etc. It was SO exciting. I always said I wasn't going to be 'that' parent, and for the most part I just sit back and observe. Chase did great and brought in the run that tied the game. We won 18-17! It was very exciting and I'm very proud of my boy!!

I hope everyone has a great Easter tomorrow! We have another full day including an egg hunt with friends! I was making Chase's Easter basket this morning and got very sentimental. So many memories from my childhood came flooding back. My dad was always a fan of any type of candy, but Peeps were probably his all time favorite. I don't care for them myself, but I had to pick some up when I was shopping earlier this week. My childhood Easter baskets were like a work of art, and they were always lined with tons and tons of Peeps. Tomorrow morning Chase will find his basket lined with Peeps, and a story from Mommy about how Peeps were Pop Pops favorite Easter candy. Maybe he will love them too, and the traditional will continue. Happy Easter!!

Tagged by Heather! Argh....

2008-03-22T15:50:00.003-04:00

I have been tagged by Heather! I know she tagged me because she knows how much I love to be tagged, so thanks Heather! ;)

Here are 10 very random things you may or may not know about me:

1. When I was little my brother cut my hand open with a dull axe. We were playing with matchbox cars outside and using the axe to dig into the dirt and make a track for the cars. I still have a scar from it.

2. I remember going on family 'vacations' when I was little (loading up in the 18-wheeler with my dad and going to wherever his load took him) and being small enough to fit my butt into one of the three holes on his huge steering wheel. I would 'swing' in the steering wheel left and right and I thought it was the most fun thing ever.

3. I hate scary movies. They make my stomach hurt and give me nightmares every time I try to watch one.

4. The Notebook is my favorite movie (yes...corny). Every single time I watch it, I pretend I'm Allie.

5. I hate my body. I have this picture of what I think it looks like in my mind, and I get pissed every day when I look in the mirror and realize my picture is off quite a bit.

6. I bungee jumped over the ocean in Cancun.

7. I am graduating from college in less than 2 months. It's the end of the longest healthy commitment I've ever had.

8. I have an unhealthy obsession with buffalo sauce. And condiments. (Resulting in #5)

9. I rarely feel confident in anything I do, but I've realized that if I fake it, most people don't realize it. Not even me.

10. It took me two days to come up with 10 things I wanted to share about myself. :)

I'm done! Everyone I know has already been tagged so that's all folks!!

I'm still here!!

2008-03-10T21:04:00.003-04:00

Hello world of bloggers!! I miss you so! I wish I had something new and exciting to blog about, but the truth is school is consuming my life right now. Some days I feel like I'm stuck in a basement and the rest of the world is moving on without me. I'm hoping soon I'll be rewarded for all of it and I can go back to my life! I will be out for Spring Break in just three short weeks. During the break Heather's family, Cat's family, and my family are going to a cabin in the mountains!! I can NOT wait. We're going to hike and fish and grill out and play with our boys and RELAX! I hope we have great weather. Not only will we be together during Spring Break, we have our monthly Ab Phab outing this Friday!! I'm in desperate need for some girl time so I'm pretty stoked about that, too!

No news in the job department yet. I have handed out my resume to several people and had an interview with an elementary school one county over. I have worried myself (and my poor husband) sick wondering where I'll lay my grade book next year. I'm trying to stay positive, put my face and resume out there, and stay confident that I will end up in the best place for myself and my future students. Some days are easier than others. :)

In the meantime, my husband showed me a hilarious website. Sometimes when it feels like I've been at this dang computer for hours, I go to it for some mindless humor. Here is one of the hundreds of pics. Check it out for a quick laugh!!

Enter the ICHC online Poker Cats Contest!

Need to, Want to, Should do.. (Thanks Cathy!)

2008-02-21T15:48:00.003-05:00

I need to do school work. I've been out for Winter Break this week and I have put everything school related off.

I want to take a bubble bath, crawl up on the couch, eat vegetable soup and watch mindless television for the rest of the day.

I should upload pictures from the past week, burn cds, get prints, and update my blog.

How about you??

One year later...

2008-02-19T13:21:00.002-05:00

Some days it feels like just last week. Other days it feels like a lifetime ago.

Some days it feels like a brick smacked me in the face. Other days it feels like it's just a part of reality.

Some days it feels like it's just a part of everyone's life. Other days it feels like I'm the only person on the planet that's lost a parent.

Some days I don't even realize it happened. Other days I think about it every minute.

Today I remember every detail. Today is much harder than I thought it was going to be. Today, the weather is exactly the same as it was one year ago. Today, it is real.

"And you now therefore have sorrow: but I will see you again, and your heart shall rejoice, and your joy no man taketh from you" (John 16:22)

"Super" Tuesday....

2008-02-05T12:28:00.000-05:00

I'm at home today, sick with a NASTY cold. At least I'm hoping that's what it is, and it doesn't get worse. I blow and blow end up with a clean tissue and an exploding head. Nice...

I have a busy rest-of-the-week, so I'm not giving much down time to this cold of mine. I decided to stay home today and rest myself into health. Then...come this evening time is up! I'm going to vote and cook dinner and get ready for tomorrow. Heather helped me find the perfect suit for Teacher Recruitment Day tomorrow! After a long Sunday (it's bad when a pregnant, tired girl out shops you!) we finally found what I needed. Now...if only my head would clear so my thoughts can come out right!

So far, I've been proud of myself for not doing school work today, not washing clothes, not cleaning the house. Just Rest! I also tried putting "don't respond to being tagged" on that list, but I figured no one would buy it! ;)

The 8

8 Things I'm Passionate About:

-My family
-My Religion
-Education
-My friends
-Not forgetting things
-My Computer
-Music
-Condiments

8 Things I want to do before I die:

-Have more children
-Finish my B.S. and get a Masters
-Watch my children grow up happily
-See my siblings get married
-Travel, Travel, Travel!
-Write my Will
-Grow old with my husband
-Live happily ever after.

8 Things I say often:

-I have school work to do.
-Hey Pookie!
-I love you
-I'm tired
-Wellyeah (one word)
-Whatever
-I just need a job
-Amen

8 TV shows I've recently watched:

-LOST
-Project Runway
-American Idol
-Anything on Food Network
-Oprah
-Drake & Josh
-The Soup
-Good Morning America

8 Songs I could listen to over and over: (don't mind the incorrect titles, I don't usually know the names of songs...)

-Tiny Dancer (Elton John)
-Remember when it rained (Josh Groban)
-This year's love (David Grey)
-Nothing compares (Sinead O'Conner)
-Anything by the Dixie Chicks
-I'll stand by you (The Pretenders)
-Black Bird (Paul McCartney)
-Fancy (Reba)

8 Things that Attract me to my Friends:

-Easy going
-Loving
-Trustworthy
-Honest
-Funny
-Non-judgemental
-Spontaneous
-Supportive

8 Things I've Learned (or been reminded of) This Past Year:

-Life can change in a second
-Four years and too many student loans were worth it
-How lucky I am to have Wes, and that I should show that more often
-Not to focus on the destination, but to enjoy the journey
-I love to paint rooms in my house
-I love trying to take good picture
-I miss the childhood I tried so hard to grow out of
-I have the best friends in the world

8 People I think should do "8":

I'll spare you all! Most of you have already done this anyway!!

Things are lookin' up!

2008-01-29T19:08:00.001-05:00

I have been solo teaching this week. It has been absolutely wonderful and absolutely exhausting! I know I'm only standing, walking, and talking, but at the end of they day I'm just plain out pooped! Today I was observed by my University Supervisor and it went really well! One observation down and two to go. The next two will be 'drop ins', so cross your fingers we're doing something productive the next time he stops by! My last post about school was a little melodramatic, and since then things have not gotten much better, but my attitude and perspective have changed a ton. I've had two days of solo teaching and the students have learned about decimals, light, and explorers. We mapped out Columbus' explorations and searched the room for objects that were translucent, transparent, and opaque. I've been having so much fun with the kids and they are really responding to the material. These are the things that are keeping me positive and will help me survive the next few months. I'm putting applications in to three counties this week, and next week I'm going to a Teacher Recruitment Day. I would love, love, love to find a job in the county I'm currently in, so cross your fingers with me for that, too!

Oh...and my life OTHER than school. That's going great, too! I really love the feeling days like today give me. Days that are just normal and good and nothing 'great' and nothing 'awful' is going on. It makes me wish I could bottle up the happiness I have right now and save some for a later, inevitable bad day.

I hope everyone has a great week! Oh! I'm also anxiously waiting for my necklace to come! Cathy makes awesome jewelry and she made the perfect necklace for me!!

The beginning of her story...

2008-01-23T19:21:00.000-05:00

I am writing this post for several reasons...

1. I need to vent. I get some out when I talk to my husband; some when I talk to Heather. I end up feeling a bit better, but still holding back because I don't want to complain to them every time they talk to me. But I really just need to get the bad out and focus on the good.

2. I want to be able to look back at this post and say..."See, I knew I was right!"

And so...I vent.

"Once upon a time there was a girl who was pretending to be a 'grown up'. She put in her almost four years of papers, projects, and hoop jumping. She was ready. She walked into the classroom with her shoulders back and a smile on her face. Deep down she knew she would probably feel more comfortable in one of the student's desks than at the podium, but nevertheless she stayed confident. This was her time to shine. Her time to turn her theories into practice and to prove to herself that all of that work was worth it! She sat down with her color coded tabbed notebook, her papers agonizingly organized, and to do list handy. This...is where her nightmare began.

Ok. So nightmare is a little dramatic. But after the first few minutes of being in the classroom she knew that everything she'd work hard to learn in the past years was out the window. Lesson plans, organization, structure, schedules. All gone. She remained positive and the smile stayed. She chalked it up to 'different teaching styles'. 'A learning experience'. 'Ying and yang?'...hell something had to help it all make sense.

Side note: (She is on day FOUR of around 70 at the time of this post.)

She struggles with her naivity and reality. She constantly questions the comments of her 'peers'. She finds herself thinking more often than she'd like; "Did that REALLY just happen?"

All details aside, that's her story so far. What I have realized from this story is that my philosophy of education is even more important to me now than ever. I firmly believe that not only is every child capable of learning, but every child should be given the opportunity to learn. And not only is that cliche true, but it's my direct responsibility to be the facilitator of that knowledge. Not to just put it on a plate and serve it to them, but to actually spoon feed every single bite to make sure each student is getting what they need. The saying 'that kid just doesn't get it' does not apply to me. My experiences in the past few days have helped me realize that not only is this what I'm supposed to be doing; I'm actually going to be good at it. And that gives me hope. I'm going to continue to try to make this a good experience, but it's getting harder by the day. It's my last hoop. I didn't come this far to fall now. Lord, help me get through these next few months....

Ab Phab's at it again!!

2008-01-12T11:51:00.000-05:00

Thursday was my first day back to the classroom. It was an interesting day to say the least. I'll blog about Student Teaching later, but the best part of that day was what happened AFTER school! First, my sweet Chase had a program at his school. He sang patriotic songs and made me the proudest parent in the room. Sometimes I feel like I have so much pride and love for him that I'm going to explode. Good Job, Chase!!

After Chase's program I met my Alpha Beta Phabulosa girls at Buffalo's for Trivia and beverages. There were a few of us missing, but we had such a good time! It was just what I needed to help me unwind after a long day. I love these girls!!

Jumping into a great '08!

2008-01-06T21:16:00.000-05:00

Six days into the new year and I am feeling great! I knew as soon as I said "3...2...1." and kissed my hubby that things were somehow about to get so much better. I feel less stress, less sorrow, and I just feel like 'me' again. I don't know how a new calender date pulled all of that off, but I'm not asking questions!!

The holidays are over and school starts back Tuesday. I'm really hoping that I can keep this whole calm and collected feeling during my Student Teaching. I want to focus on enjoying this experience instead of letting it overwhelm and stress me. Since this was my last weekend officially 'to do' list free (yeah...I know those of you that know me, know that I will always have a 'to do' list) I decided to try to make the best of it! Heather and I took our boys to Kangaroo Kids. We had such a good time! I sat on the sidelines a lot of the time with a Pilates induced pulled muscle in my back, but it gave me the opportunity to get some great shots! More to come this week...I'm sure I'll have lots of school updates after my orientation this week, plus....Girls Night again! Trivia Thursday night with the Ab Phab girls! I can't wait!!

A letter to my son...

2007-12-28T22:25:00.000-05:00

Dear Chase,

Something about this week has drawn me to tell you so many things. I could say these things to you now, but I want to get them in print so I can remember every detail. Part of me also knows that you will look at me while I'm talking, smile, and ask..."Can I go play now?"

This has been such an awesome week. I have loved being home with you during your Christmas break. I love how you are my best friend. How we stay in our pj's way too long, stay up way too late, and sleep in hours passed our normal wake up time. Our conversations amaze me sometimes. It's during them when I'm reminded of how 'grown up' you are. I love hearing your theories behind why things happen and I absolutely adore how genuine you are. I have also learned to accept your social shyness as part of your personality, and I love you for it. I love that you still hug and kiss me no matter what, and I'm so nervous for the day when I get "Mommm, stop it!"

I love how your eyebrows raise when you are talking about something you like, or have a good idea. You are so smart and so sweet and sometimes I think my pride for you is going to explode out of me. I love the your little 5 year old lisp that happens when you say certain words. And your laugh...your laugh can make me smile even on my worst days. While I don't see myself in you physically, I see my sensitivity and dance moves in you daily. I love how music makes you move and how we sing songs in the car together (but only when it's me and you!). I love sneaking into your room after you fall asleep and putting my face as close to yours as possible, rubbing our noses together and kissing you goodnight one last time. Some days I can't wait to see the person you are going to be at 10...15...25. Other days I just want to stop time and keep my baby in my arms.

I hate how everything seems to fly by during 'real life'. School and homework and running around and before you know it months have passed by. It's been so nice to slow down this week. I am so proud of you and I am so happy that we've been able to spend our Christmas break together.

I love you,
Mommy

Santa's off to a good start!

2007-12-23T10:36:00.000-05:00

I got a great present for Christmas this year! A new Nikon D40! I got it a few days early so I could capture all the great Christmas moments over the next few days. I LOVE it. I'm trying to read the manual and really get to know the settings so this camera really lives up to it's potential. (and it's price tag!)

In other recent news, I found some Christmas spirit! Several different things contributed to my new attitude. First of all...my mother started dating! Gasp!! Now I'll be the first person to say that the idea of her and another man 'hanging out' is just plain weird. But, it did give us kids something to rally together for. We sort of got used to avoiding each other's lives, so the hot new couple in town gave us a common interest. No one's really sure how they feel about all of it, (except Jackilyn of course...who 'hates' him. *She's 17. ) What she hates is how he reminds her of who he isn't. We talked, shed some tears, and ultimately agreed that we don't want her to be alone forever. Then we let it go. How did I get Christmas spirit from that? I guess somehow I feel like her happiness and sanity during the holidays isn't only my responsibility anymore. She has someone to spend time with and have fun with. And now when we are together, the absence of my dad isn't so strong. That's not to say we ignore that he's gone, his absence just stands there instead of smacking me in the face.

I also got a new hair cut! After some encouragement from Heather (.."it's just hair! Do it!!") I decided to chop it off. I brought a picture of Katie Holmes to the salon and crossed my fingers. It's weird what a good haircut does for a woman. :)

I also went ice skating with a group of ABsolutely PHABulous girls!! Catherine has some great photos from this fun night posted. Heather planned the whole night before she found out she was pregnant, but sitting on the sidelines allowed her to take some great pics, too! I felt like a kid out on the ice and I don't think I've laughed that much in a while! We also created our own sorority that night. Alpha Beta Phabulosa! It's silly...but I can't wait for another great year with my new sorority sisters.

So I feel like 2007 has dug a nice little hole for me to stand in. I never allowed it to swallow me whole, but I always just felt 'stuck'. I'm seeing that hole get smaller and smaller and I'm excited to start a new year. Now...bring on the presents and eggnog!

Pooped??

2007-11-29T01:59:00.000-05:00

During Thanksgiving break last week Chase was a busy boy! He spent the night with his cousins Wednesday night, then with his Grandma Thursday night, THEN had a day of fun Friday with his dad. When I picked him up he was obviously exhausted. I look in the rear view at him nodding off....

Me (in my best mommy voice): "Poor baby...I bet you are pooped, huh??"

Chase (so nonchalantly): "No....I think it's just gas."

The mind of a five year old makes me smile. :)

Bah Humbug...

2007-11-25T17:07:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving is gone as quickly as it came, and I thankful for that. Yes, I am thankful for a ton of other things, and I really tried to focus on them during the past week. We had a pretty good couple of days I guess. I had my first (and probably my last) Black Friday experience, and I feel good that most of Chase's Christmas shopping is done. Tomorrow we're back to the real world. Chase is back to school, Wes goes back to work, and I go back to homework. I pulled down a few boxes of decorations yesterday, but this year the thought of going to get a tree, find a place for it, decorate it....it all just seems tiresome. I used to be so excited for this time of year. I remember my dad 'picking' his tree from the road. He would start around Halloween, and every time we drove by the tree farm he would say.."There it is...third row from the pole...that's the one." We all knew that they all looked the same from the road, and that the one we eventually picked would be no where near the pole, but it was his tradition. It's funny how things can seem so trivial at the time, but once they are gone seem like gold. This year things are just all over the place. None of us really know how to have a holiday with one of us missing, so we're just pushing further and further away from each other in an effort to find a new normal. What I'm trying to remember is that Chase is 5-and he is excited about Santa coming. He points out any Christmas lights he finds and was so excited when we started pulling out decorations yesterday. He is ready to get a tree and get this holiday going! So next weekend we're going to get our tree and I'm going to put a smile on my face while I decorate it. Hopefully my dad will lead us in the right direction to that 'perfect tree' he always finds...

Forgiveness

2007-11-20T15:50:00.000-05:00

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Matthew 6:14-15 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

I have been hurt by someone very close to me. More than that person realizes, I'm sure. Family is forever, so I will forgive. It's the 'forgetting' that I have the hardest time with. Recently I've realized that if I don't forget, I'm not sure I've really been able to forgive. The Bible says that God does not "remember" our wickedness (Hebrews 8:12). God is all-knowing. God knows what occurred. However, having forgiven us, He treats us as if the sin had not occurred.

I need to find the strength to forgive and forget. I believe that God forgives my sins, so I need to remember that He will forgive her too. I need to learn how to not 'dwell' on sins, but to fill my mind with my blessings. I will forever be a work in progress....

Happy Anniversary!!

2007-11-18T19:26:00.000-05:00

Today is our one year anniversary! This is probably our last 'first' so we made it a weekend event. Saturday starting off a little shaky with family drama, but then the real fun began! Saturday night was Wes' surprise for me. Dinner at Fogo De Chao! Neither of us have been there but we've both heard really good things about it. Heather knew where we were going and prepared me on what to wear and not to eat all day! Wes made reservations for 7:30 and I was so excited and very surprised when we pulled up! The salad bar was amazing-They had the best cheeses, asparagus, and prosciutto I've ever eaten. Then, it was time for the main courses. We had coasters that were red on one side and green on the other. If your coaster was on green, that meant keep 'em coming! We ate filet mignon, lamb chops, chicken wrapped in bacon, homemade sausage, and sirloin. They also served fried bananas and fried polenta. The polenta was SO good. Then, of course, because we weren't glutinous enough (hey..you only have a one year anniversary once!) we ordered a chocolate molten lava cake. We left so stuffed but so happy. It was a great dinner. After dinner we stopped by Rachel B's birthday party at Lot One. It was pretty obvious I hadn't been out in a while! Wes was pretty sleepy but we ended up staying pretty late and had a really good time!

Chase spent the night at Summer's for the first time Saturday night. He did really good! He said he had a good time and he's already lined up to spend the night again the night before Thanksgiving. I think we're going to try to make a tradition for the boys to all spend the night together on Thanksgiving Eve. I was proud of him for being such a big boy. :)

Today was my surprise for Wes. After sleeping in VERY late I put Wes in the car and blindfolded him so he couldn't see where we were going. After taking the long way we ended up at the Pavillion in Griffin, the place where we got married last year. I had a basket with our thawed out wedding cake, a cd player, and our favorite Diet Mt. Dew. We had to park and walk b/c the gate was locked, but it was the perfect end to our weekend. The lake was so low, but other than that nothing changed out there. I put in our wedding cd and we danced in the same spot we were in exactly one year before. When we were dancing I closed my eyes and I could see every detail from our wedding. The fire, the beautiful weather, the white lights and all of our friends and family. I saw my smiling dad sitting in his wheelchair under the heaters we rented, and all of our friends in a big circle around us. It's a memory that I thought had faded, but came back so clear it brought tears to my eyes. After we danced we ate our cake (it was surprisingly really good still!) and put one notch on one of the wooden columns. Hopefully we can start a tradition.

I am anxious about, but looking forward to the holidays coming up. Our anniversary was certainly a great way to start things off! Chase is home with me all week for Thanksgiving break. It's going to be nice to sleep in and hang out together in our pj's. Thursday will be lunch at Summer's, and dinner at my mom's. Between Fogo De Chao's, and my favorite holiday foods, it's going to be time for a serious diet soon!!

Remembering...

2007-11-15T15:59:00.001-05:00

I've been struggling with keeping up with a blog. I keep thinking that the events that happen in my life aren't really exciting enough to 'share' with other readers, and that no one reads this except me anyway. Until today. I was on the phone with a friend and we were talking about someone she knew who had died. I mentioned that so many people are dying lately, and Chase suddenly said..."like Pop Pop, too." He never brings that up on his own, so I decided to pick up where he started and asked Chase what else he remembers about Pop Pop. I think this is the best way to help Chase remember my daddy, and keep him alive in our memories. We went back and forth, almost like a game....

Me: "I remember when we used to play Memory with Pop Pop in the hospital.."
Chase: "I remember Pop Pop got me that motorcycle with my name on it!"
Me: "I remember when me and Pop Pop danced at my wedding."
Chase: "I remember Pop Pop used to ride me around in his wheelchair, and I remember before he was in his wheelchair, and he was walking around in the living room and stuff..."
Me: "I remember Pop Pop giving you all the nicknames you still have today."

We talked for a while, and just when I thought we were done...Chase says..

"I remember that Pop Pop is in heaven."

He had such a sweet smile on his face when he said it.

"Mama, do you know where heaven is?"

"Where is heaven, Chase?"

and he pointed up to the sky and waved at Pop Pop...so I waved too.

It was a conversation that left me sad, happy, proud....so many things. I immediately said to myself 'Don't ever forget that conversation, remember what Chase said and how sweet he smiled when he talked about his Pop Pop.' And suddenly I knew what this blog was going to be for me. For some people it's a way to keep in touch and share their lives with other people, and I'm sure it will still be that for me. But I also want to use this blog as a way to put my memories into words, so I can go back years from now and remember the things that might fade over time...

It's FanTAGstic!!

2007-10-20T13:43:00.000-04:00

I've been tagged!! Although I'm pretty sure the only person who will read this is the person who tagged me, I'm going to play along anyway!! Drumroll pleaasee.....

Jobs I've held:

Cashier at Giant Mart
Bank Teller
Waitress/Bartender
CSR @ a lending company
Billing clerk at Bennett Motor Express
Full-time student (yes...it's a job!)
Hopefully a teacher in a few months!!

Places I've lived:

Philadelphia, Penn.
Christmas, Florida
Zebulon, Georgia
Griffin, Georgia
Milner, Georgia

Foods I love:

I could be here all day! Let me try to narrow this down...

Pasta
Chinese
Bagels
Cereal
(so yeah...carbs, carbs, and um...more carbs)
Pretty much anything buffalo'ed
Peanut butter & jelly sammies
Condiments-aLOT of them...

Places I would rather be:

Camping in the mountains
In my first classroom
At a Worthan party with ALL of my friends and our kids!
On a beach

Movies I love:

The Notebook
Adventures in Babysitting
The Sword and the Stone
LOTR-all of them...
Harry Potter-all of them...
Any romantic comedy-no horror movies b/c I'm a wuss...
A movie I haven't seen yet, in a theater, with all my buds, bugging them to death about what happens next...

TV shows I watch:

Too Many!!
Ok...I could watch the Food Network, Bravo, TLC, or Lifetime all day, and sometimes do.
I miss Friends, Sex and the City, and The O.C.

Currently, I'm hooked on Heroes, The Biggest Loser (even though it makes me feel like CRAP), Chuck, Private Practice, Grey's Anatomy, America's Next Top Model, Gossip Girl (that one's starting to become less of a priority though...), Survivor, The Hills, Rachael Ray, Oprah, and of course, 30 Minute Meals.

I just realized that is over 10 hours of television. I'm a loser.

Tag you are it:

Umm...yeah. If you are reading this, and you haven't been tagged, then you're it!!

(I have no new pics to share because I broke my camera :( )

(RED)

2007-10-15T23:53:00.001-04:00

So I was doing some research online....*ahem*

o.k. o.k. I was watching Rachael Ray, and she talked about how Hallmark was working together with the RED campaign. There are a ton of products that you can buy to help donate towards the fight against AIDS in Africa, and now you can add Hallmark greeting cards to that list! 8% of Hallmark (PRODUCT) RED net wholesale sales will go to the Global Fund! I looked for a while but unfortunately I cannot find a way for my lazy butt to order a box of these beautiful cards online. I did browse through the different designs they have and I'll be stopping by a Hallmark store soon!! Not only is this a great way to reach people across the globe, I'm telling you these cards are so beautifully designed I can't pick just one! Christmas will be here before you know it guys! Check out the cards here, go grab a box or two, and get inspi(red)!!

She's Baaaaaaaack....

2007-10-10T15:39:00.000-04:00

Miss me?? It's been a crazy few months... I could blame it all on school, and a lot of my time has gone to Mercer, but not enough I'm afraid. I've had several distractions....

*My grandfather passed away in September, so my brother and I caught a VERY early flight to Philly where my sister and mom already were. It seemed so similar to the situations surrounding my dad's funeral in Feb., yet obviously so different. My Pop Pop was always so much fun-we'd go up to Philly once a year to visit and he's been to Georgia a few times. He did, after all, invent the 'blooper' (which has now been stolen by society and turned into 'raspberries'). The funeral brought on strange feelings. I will miss my Pop Pop a lot, and I am sad that he's gone, but the sadness I had for my mom and her 6 siblings took over my other emotions. I knew exactly what they were feeling. In a weird way I think it even brought my mom and I closer, like we subconsciously had a better sense of what the other one had gone through. We were both part of the "we lost our dads" club. It's in times that like that I'm extra thankful for my faith in God, because sometimes I just run out of strength....

*Also-a much happier event occurred: Patrick and Marlena got married at the beach! We had weekends filled with bridal showers, lingerie showers, batchelorette parties, and a long wonderful weekend at the beach! We had a really good time! Chase played in the ocean and danced like a fool at the wedding (yeah...mama did too!). Despite a small scare of wet weather, the ceremony really was beautiful! I'm going to attach some pictures from the weekend to the bottom of this post...

*I got pink eye :( I stayed behind closed doors for a week. ugh..

In between my distractions...I did manage to put in about 30 hours at Beaverbrook so far (where I taught my first lesson!) and finish up two more classes at night. I still have a long way to go at Beaverbrook, but I should be done around the middle of November. See...the idea was to make a post talking about how busy I have been doing school work. So busy I can't even blog! But the more I think about it, the more I realize that I am still so behind with school. Which is so unlike me! I am a planner! A Post It girl! Mrs. Organization!! BUT...not with school work. I still have 6 more lessons and a Unit to write! It's odd. Here are some of the things I realize I've done to keep myself busy in the past 6 weeks instead of doing school work.

1. See asterisks above (ok...so not all of those I could help).
2. I painted my kitchen.
3. I rearranged every pot, casserole dish, and utensil in my kitchen.
4. Spray painted my kitchen table.
5. Reorganized all of my school documents (lesson plans, handouts) in my file folders.
6. I did attend a SPAGE seminar on Saturday? Does that count??
7. Ate lunch with my mom a few times.
8. Went to Heather's house and played with Charlie!
9. Mindlessly surfed on MySpace waaaay too much.
10. Slept. A lot.

So. Why did I do all of this stuff when I should have been home writing lesson plans? Because that's what I know I'm good at. I'm a good painter...I'm good at hanging with friends and family. I'm a great organizer. So I felt "busy"(aka, not guilty), but I wasn't focused on school because I don't feel confident enough in what I'm doing. I have all of this factual information about curriculum, kids, learning styles...etc. I just have to get it to connect with my actions when I'm in a classroom. I guess it's a work in progess. But it's FALL now! Fairs and pumpkins and beautiful weather! I LOVE this time of year. The air is so thin and clean. So my short term goal is to find a balance in school work and having an actual life. OH, and to update my blog more often! :)

Happy Birthday Wes!!

2007-08-15T21:25:00.000-04:00

Today is Wes' 29th birthday! Unfortunately he had to work~but lucky for me I didn't! I took advantage of the situation and threw a tiny little party for him. I 'slaved' over the stove cooking his favorite gourmet meal; chicken tenders, yellow rice, green beans, and crescent rolls! (..My sweet...simple minded husband!) Well...I can't take credit for the green beans, his mom brought those. We ended up having a really nice time though! My mom was planning on coming but she's out of town at a conference for work. Wes' parents and sister were there and Heather came by too! Poor Adam had to stay and work on the cabin so he missed out on some good food! Chase also got to play with Summer's kids so we had a full house for a while! After school Chase helped me put some streamers and balloons up so the kitchen and dining room looked pretty good. We topped the night off with cake and ice cream. It was low key, but perfect. :)

Tomorrow I am taking baby steps back to the real world. :( I have to go to a substitute teacher orientation at the elementary school. Hopefully I'll find out how everything works and I'll be able to work a few days next week. Maybe I'll get lucky and run into a familiar face...

Here are some pics from the birthday dinner! Thanks to everyone that came!!

Maybe Chase and I should start our own cake decorating business??

The Addisons!

Chase and the boys being silly!

My Sweet Birthday Boy!!

I hope you enjoyed your birthday Baby!! Next year is the big "3- *ahem*...well...Happy 29th Birthday!!!

And so it begins...

2007-08-11T10:32:00.000-04:00

My new blog that is!! I'm sure you all understand us newbies don't know what we're doing-so give me a bit before it's fabulous! I am here to share the love (and funny stories!) of my family, my friends, and my sometimes crazy life.

First a little background. Wes and I got married on November 18, 2006. We have an amazing 5 year old son named Chase who just started Kindergarten last week! *sniff* We have a low key life, which I love, and friends that are amazing. We also have family as close as next door and as far away as Pennsylvania. I am hoping this blog can help us keep our Philly family updated!

In recent news, I am currently unemployed! AHHH! The thought excites me and scares the crap out of me all at the same time. For the past three years I have worked for the same transportation company my husband works for. He is a systems administrator and I worked in billing. During those three years I also went to school two nights a week at a Mercer University regional center that was minutes away from work. As of Friday, I am now just a full time student. Early Childhood Education requires fieldwork, student teaching, and a lot of TIME that simply could not be juggled with a full time job....

...but let's be honest. I hated my job! I sat in front of a computer all day punching in numbers and had absolutely NO passion for it. The sad part about leaving is simply the change. That place has seen my separation, my son's broken bones, holidays, my Wes and our marriage, too many tears and so many laughs. It brought me Katie, Maggie, Heather C., and my husband! When I drove away Friday, I felt like I was leaving an old friend. An old friend who's been a pain in my ass for years, but has still been a huge part of my life.

So...a new journey in my life, and a new blog to record it along the way. This next year I am going to be absorbed in school work, and hopefully substitute teaching in between for extra experience and a little bit of extra money. I will celebrate my first wedding anniversary, and my first holidays without my dad here. I will graduate from college and I will smile from deep down in my soul when my Heatherbean has her Fekadu home! Throughout it all-'celebrate we will'...

..oh...and BLOG we will!! It's already my new favorite hobby!!