Who Nose?

I really really really want to pierce my nose. I'vI want a small diamond stud just like this one. I've always kinda wanted to, but for some reason today...I just really need to. It's small and cute and I know I would LOVE it. Hmm...dress code at work doesn't exactly allow for it....buuuuut. sigh. Maybe they won't notice??

I want one!!

ok ok...let's try this again.

blogging that is. not necessarily to entertain or inform the .8 readers out there...sort of just to get it out of my head. :)

i never did blog about new years eve. or post pictures. but it was fun! promise. if you were there, you know how awesome it was. if you weren't, you missed a good one! even with the 'vomitpalooza' situations.

picking up from this weekend. fun times!! life's kinda been one big ol' party since the new year started...and i'm kinda digging that! i did some dancing friday night with some awesome friends, and also got to see a show in atlanta saturday night. liz rode up there with us to see jay bang on the drums and i can honestly say it rocked my face off! (i'm gonna borrow that...mkay?) last night the drum banging continued...only this time on jay's rockband drums. we also played around with liz's wiifit. it was the first time i'd played with one but it was FUN! heather...we need to get one for your house!

today is mlk day. chase and i are both out of school, and as you can see from my last paragraph i could use some rest. chase was with his dad this weekend so we're gonna chillax together and i'm gonna try to get some housework done. so far i've failed at the second part...but i'm hoping to find some motivation soon. it just seems like a good day to lay on the couch and be introspective. :)

Spoiled rotten Christmas!

Merry Christmas! Ok...so technically today is New Year's Eve, but it's never too late to blog about Christmas, right? We have had an amazing week and a half at home! I have two NICE LONG weeks off from work and sometimes I even forget that I even have a classroom waiting for me to go back to next week! It's been so nice to just rest and relax and have a little FUN! Chase and I have stayed in our pj's until pm hours and and stayed up waaayyy too late! We spent Christmas Eve at my Mom's and everyone was very nice. :) Christmas day was shared with the in-laws, Chase's dad, and playing games with friends. Chase got everything he asked for from Santa and then some. Wes and I felt a twinge of sadness while we were putting out his presents, knowing that it wouldn't take many more Christmases before the magic of Santa is gone. Hopefully by then there will be another little person around to play Santa for and Chase can even be in on the game. :)

So I made it through another Christmas! Everyone I love is happy and healthy and I could not ask for more than that. My dad's physical absence was not as present as it's been in the past, and I think we're all finding our new normal without him. Remembering him in the silly things he used to say or do, and sharing our laughs and smiles when one of us remembers a funny story from the past. Now even though I had a great Christmas, I was still ready to the S%&T out of here as soon as the holiday was over! Now my house is back to normal. Rooms are cleaned and organized and new toys and clothes are put away. All the laundry is done and supplies have been gathered for the BEST party of the year! We are having a New Year's Eve party here in our garage! All of our friends are coming and Heather and I have been in planning mode for a few weeks now. My masks came yesterday and they are going to put the finishing touches on our Masquerade themed bash! I can't wait to ring in the new year with my friends tonight and I'll be sure to post (some...not all) the pictures soon!

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

Detox.....day 2

So...whatever. I quit quitting. I should have listened to Laura early on. Dealing with the obsession is so much easier than the withdrawals. I've taken a good, hard look at my issue and have decided to embrace it!!

I'm off to see Edward again tonight. 8pm. And I'm so excited!! *insert high pitched squeaky voice here* I cannot wait to see it again! You'd think after the fourth time I will be fulfilled, but I also thought that about the second and third time.

See you in a few short hours my dear!!

Detox.....day 1

..the day started off okay. although edward's beautiful face lingered in the back of my mind, an early dr. appt for chase kept me busy, followed by lunch with my husband. (an admittedly amazing mortal). i came home to take a nap with chase. one quick glance at my desktop pic changed it all. i've been on here for about an hour. back on youtube...even thought about how/when i could see the movie again....sigh....

i changed my desktop to a family picture. i'm going to take a nap and sleep it off. laura was right...this is harder than i thought it would be.

Stars in my eyes.....

My name is Jessica, and I am an Edwardaholic. It's an addiction. It's not healthy, and it needs to stop!

"It's just a movie...it's just a movie..."

I have been trying to be rational. I've repeated this line in my head several dozen times. I went Friday, Saturday, and Sunday to see it. I think about it all the time. I listen to the cd over and over. Each time I've seen it, I get the same ache in my stomach. I'm determined I've never seen a more beautiful man in my life. I've changed my MySpace layout, my song, my computer desktop, spent countless hours on youtube watching interviews with him.....it has to stop!

I need to snap out of it. Join the real world again. I've decided the only way I can do this is to go cold turkey. I won't go back to see the movie this week (even though I'm off ALL week for Thanksgiving break), the cd is put away, and I'm staying off my computer unless absolutely necessary. (well...at least off youtube!) I am going to attempt to read New Moon, but if things get bad again I will have to put it away until I am stronger. Edward, I have to quit you. If I don't do it now, I don't know if I will ever be able to. I need my sanity back!!

I will let you all know how the detox goes. Wish me luck...

Stressed.....

What a crazy few days. I am starting to realize that teaching is the hardest, greatest, most frustrating, most rewarding, most difficult, most natural, most stressful, most fulfilling job I will ever have in my life.

I can't even begin to explain what this week has been like for me. Even if I tried, and took up pages of explanation, I feel like I could never convey what it is like to walk a day in my shoes. I try to explain it to friends, and my husband. And while I can give every single detail of the day, I feel like no one will ever really understand what I am feeling. I don't want that to sound like a bad thing, or like it's anyone's fault for not understanding, but it's just something that has to be experienced to fully understand.

I remember when I was a student in elementary school and being the teacher just seemed so easy. I don't know if it was easier in the past, or I just didn't have the right view of it. Maybe it's a combination of both. Maybe it's the socioeconomic status of the school I'm in that's making the difference. I certainly don't remember going to school with kid's whose parents didn't feed them or give them clean clothes on a daily basis. Maybe that's the difference. Maybe times have just changed that much....

I keep asking myself..."Is it supposed to be this hard??" I know it's a cliche thing to hear from a teacher..."I don't get paid enough" and "This is the most stressful job ever", but those two things couldn't be more true this week. Please if you ever hear this coming from a teacher do me one favor. Believe it!! I come home at the end of the day and want to crumble into a ball on my bed and sleep.

Any given day of the week I deal with parents, co teachers, Special Ed teachers, administration, scheduling conflicts, behavior checklists, committee meetings, professional development classes and the work that comes along with them, RTI meetings, instructional meetings, faculty meetings, grade level planning, head lice, fights on the playground, grading papers, checking agendas, organizing field trips, IEP meetings, attendance reports, home visits, christmas tree decorating contests, letters to the troops, PTO meetings, paperwork, paperwork, paperwork.....wait. I'm SUPPOSED to be teaching kids, right?? That's my job, to teach these kids, but juggling all those things I mentioned (plus those things I forgot) and still trying to give the kids all I've got is a balance I'm still learning to have. I never imagined all of the baggage that comes along with teaching children.

Does is sound like I'm complaining? Well...maybe I am. But I don't mean to be. I just really need another person to understand what my days are like, and that's pretty hard. I just really need another person to help me understand that what I am doing is impacting these children in a positive way. I love my job. I never want to do anything else except teach. And some days I walk away with a smile on my face and a confidence that I've got it all together and things are better than I ever could have imagined. Today though....today I'm tired. I'm pushing as hard as I can on a wall that is moving inch by inch and it's exhausting. The good part is, deep down, I still feel like the rest of this year will fly by just as fast as the first 4 months did, and when it does, I'm going to smile and wave goodbye to my fourth grade babies and know they are better, smarter children because of me. And THAT's why I get up everyday and go back. That's why I will continue to give my babies all that I've got....

p.s. one more day until thanksgiving break!! :)