Run 4

10 min walk
10 min alternating walk/run at 2 min. intervals
10 min walk

Feeling stronger and pushing a little harder each time. Running does more for my mind right now than it does for my body, which is a good thing. Today was a rough day, but I felt tons better after leaving the track. Well...not tons, but better. :) The fact is...some days are just so much harder than others.

Run 3

Back to the pavement today...with the company of my bestie. This go around was much easier than last time, so I'm hoping I create a pattern with that. I'm gonna go one or two more times on this routine then it's time to 'step' (tehee) it up a notch!

Tonight...

10 min walk
10 min alternating walk/run at 2 min. intervals
10 min walk

I felt really good after! I also got a phone call on the way home about a part time job every other Saturday at the Country Kitchen in Barnesville. "S'more sweet tea there shugah??" It's just gonna be a lil extra spending money, but Chase will be at his dad's so I think it's gonna be a good thing. Come down and see me! I'm starting this Saturday!!

Run 2

Is running 6 out of 30 minutes really considered a "run"? Maybe I need a new title for these....

So I a had run planned for this morning, but woke up to more rain. I was feeling energized and ready to go so I was kinda bummed about the weather. Around that time I was reminded.."It's not acid..it's just rain". That was all I needed.

Several layers later I was at the track. My ipod was fully charged this time and it really does make a ton of difference. I can probably make every song lyric apply to my life in some way, but it seemed like my ipod was talking to me this morning.

The bad news is the track here in Milner is kinda old, so there were parts that were completely flooded with water. I walked around them for the first 10 minutes. The second walk/run 10 minutes were another story. I stopped worrying about the water and just ran. Within seconds my feet were soaked up to my knees. I also got hot pretty quickly, so several layers had to come off.

The good news?? I did it. I met this week's goal on day 2. During my middle 10 I ran for 6 minutes and walked for 4 (alternating every two minutes). I was surprised how quickly 2 minutes went by. While I am proud of myself for being able to do it, I'm not moving to goal 2 yet. I'm going to stick with the same routine the rest of the week with the new goal being for it to be a lil easier to do. It was rough. It doesn't seem like a lot of running, but it was for me. By the 3rd round of running I was hurting. I really do think the rain helped though. It made me feel free and energized.

If you don't want to run, just go out and jump in a big ol' rain puddle. You'll see what I mean. :)

Run 1

Well...here we go. I'm in the new place and I'm surrounded by a new quiet that I'm starting to get used to. I still feel that itch..."find something to do, find a distraction, what's next??" But I scratch it a hell of a lot less often than I used to and that's a good thing. What it leaves me with is a lot of down time. I've used this time to chill and get things settled and most importantly bond with Chase. I found myself exhausted after week 1 of being a single parent again. I've also found that I am totally ok with the aloneness that this new place brings. It's a really good feeling...today. :)

So with down time comes the need for a "hobby". My old hobbies were umm...not so healthy to say the least, so I've been in the market for a few new ones. Knitting?? nah. Scrapbooking? blegh. Reading? Well this one is good, and would just be an extension to an already good/healthy hobby I have in my love for books. This old hobby, and the inspiration from a friend, both lead me to a book called The Complete Book of Women's Running. In the past week I've torn into this book. It's an easy read and it answers so many questions that are common to people who have no idea where the hell to start when it comes to putting their feet to the pavement and just doing it.

I'm certainly starting as a beginner. I'm following the book as close as I can, and I've set a goal for myself. It's part of an 8 week plan...

Week 1 - 30 minutes
10 min. walk
10 min. walk/run - alternating 2 min. walk/2 min. run
10 min. walk

Tonight was my first night. I was very surprised! For one...my feet hurt like HELL. I have good running shoes that are made for the type of runner I am (learned that in the book too), but damn. Running hurts my feet. I also realized that I have GOT to stop smoking if I'm going to take this seriously. My chest was a combination of coldness and fire with every deep inhale of oxygen. Not a good feeling. Lastly, I did better than I thought I would! I didn't bring a watch, and my ipod was dead, but I had two friends beside me to cheer me on as I ran two laps around the small track here in our town. I did (roughly) the 10 min. warm up and cool down with a short run in between. I'm thinking it was about 3 minutes of non stop running but it wasn't timed and I didn't alternate it with walking for that middle 10 minute block. It was still a success though! Now, thanks to those two friends, I have a stop watch that I'm going to start using to make sure I meet my weekly goal(s). My ipod is charging now and I'm ready for another trip to the track tomorrow. It's only day 1...and I have a LONG way to go, but I'm ready. I felt powerful and healthy and motivated tonight. I hope it stays. I'm going to try to use my blog as a journal of how everything goes, but I'll post other life updates as well. Here goes nothing!

Looking Forward...

What a crazy few weeks I've had. Too many changes that have left my head spinning a bit. I moved into my new place this weekend. A super cute 2 bedroom 2 bath apartment that feels like a little house. Patrick and Marlena are my new neighbors and I am SO thankful to have them so close! There are times when the sadness feels overwhelming, but other times the new opportunities have me feeling a little excited. I had some help this weekend from some awesome friends. I've made several 'mistakes' in the past few weeks, and probably could have done a few things differently, but the people who mean the most to me and love me unconditionally have really shown their faces lately. I am thankful for that. I have had my eyes opened lately...to people who are not healthy for me to have in my life, to people who have always been there and created deeper roots, to awesome new friends who remind me to breathe and help put things into perspective. To put things bluntly, I am finding myself all over again...or..for the first time. It's an interesting journey, but it's a good thing.

I want to post pics of the new crib...but for now I have snow pics! Among the moving and unpacking we got some hellah snow this weekend! It was beautiful and peaceful and actually helped my sanity this weekend! Here are a few pics...thank you Patrick for coming over for a snowball fight with Chase!







This is definitely a soul searching experience, and I'm working on loving myself. Chase is taking things really well. He's excited about the new place and he's seemed to let go of Wes easily. Part of me thinks that he's super mature and taking things well, another part of me thinks that his idea of 'commitment' is so skewed that I'm going to have some work to do down the road. Both of these are probably true...but we've really bonded this weekend and I'm thankful for that.

This past month has found me loved and lost, strong and weak, broken down and tall...but I'm looking forward. I see future nights of tears and laughs and new experiences. I am learning how to be alone and how to be ok with being alone. I'm learning how to listen to myself and really search for what I want and what I need and what's best for Chase and I. Here's to not only a new chapter, but a whole new book. I want to find the inspiration in myself that other people see, and find a new normal.

I am going to take a few pics of the new place, and post them soon. :) Here's to a new Jess.

I'm movin' on...

So I usually don't like to post lyrics. I think it's kinda cheesy, but these touch me too close to home not to post....

I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame,
trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on

I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone

I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on

I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on

Turning the page...

This song usually gets stuck in my head today, but it applies to me more today than it ever did before...

"Say, here I am, on the road again. there I am, up on the stage.
Here I go, playing star again.
There I go, turn the page..."

In recent silly news...I watched my first scary(ish) movie! For anyone who doesn't know, I do NOT watch horror movies. I'm taking 'baby steps'...and I'll blog about it soon.