Monday, March 2, 2009

Looking Forward...

What a crazy few weeks I've had. Too many changes that have left my head spinning a bit. I moved into my new place this weekend. A super cute 2 bedroom 2 bath apartment that feels like a little house. Patrick and Marlena are my new neighbors and I am SO thankful to have them so close! There are times when the sadness feels overwhelming, but other times the new opportunities have me feeling a little excited. I had some help this weekend from some awesome friends. I've made several 'mistakes' in the past few weeks, and probably could have done a few things differently, but the people who mean the most to me and love me unconditionally have really shown their faces lately. I am thankful for that. I have had my eyes opened lately...to people who are not healthy for me to have in my life, to people who have always been there and created deeper roots, to awesome new friends who remind me to breathe and help put things into perspective. To put things bluntly, I am finding myself all over again...or..for the first time. It's an interesting journey, but it's a good thing.

I want to post pics of the new crib...but for now I have snow pics! Among the moving and unpacking we got some hellah snow this weekend! It was beautiful and peaceful and actually helped my sanity this weekend! Here are a few pics...thank you Patrick for coming over for a snowball fight with Chase!







This is definitely a soul searching experience, and I'm working on loving myself. Chase is taking things really well. He's excited about the new place and he's seemed to let go of Wes easily. Part of me thinks that he's super mature and taking things well, another part of me thinks that his idea of 'commitment' is so skewed that I'm going to have some work to do down the road. Both of these are probably true...but we've really bonded this weekend and I'm thankful for that.

This past month has found me loved and lost, strong and weak, broken down and tall...but I'm looking forward. I see future nights of tears and laughs and new experiences. I am learning how to be alone and how to be ok with being alone. I'm learning how to listen to myself and really search for what I want and what I need and what's best for Chase and I. Here's to not only a new chapter, but a whole new book. I want to find the inspiration in myself that other people see, and find a new normal.

I am going to take a few pics of the new place, and post them soon. :) Here's to a new Jess.

4 comments:

thenumber3 said...

Good on ya Jess! I drink to a new you as well. Keep on truckin!

Rachel B. said...

Made me a bit teary eyed...I sure do love you and Chase and wish you the very very best...

J-Mac said...

"Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.” Love ya babe!

lcm0709 said...

Wow, Jess. It sounds like you have had a lot going on. I am glad you have such a strong base of support to help you through what is obviously a very life changing situation.

Love has the power to both break the heart, and heal the heart... here's to quick healing.

Laura :)
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