Pooped??

During Thanksgiving break last week Chase was a busy boy! He spent the night with his cousins Wednesday night, then with his Grandma Thursday night, THEN had a day of fun Friday with his dad. When I picked him up he was obviously exhausted. I look in the rear view at him nodding off....

Me (in my best mommy voice): "Poor baby...I bet you are pooped, huh??"

Chase (so nonchalantly): "No....I think it's just gas."

The mind of a five year old makes me smile. :)

Bah Humbug...

Thanksgiving is gone as quickly as it came, and I thankful for that. Yes, I am thankful for a ton of other things, and I really tried to focus on them during the past week. We had a pretty good couple of days I guess. I had my first (and probably my last) Black Friday experience, and I feel good that most of Chase's Christmas shopping is done. Tomorrow we're back to the real world. Chase is back to school, Wes goes back to work, and I go back to homework. I pulled down a few boxes of decorations yesterday, but this year the thought of going to get a tree, find a place for it, decorate it....it all just seems tiresome. I used to be so excited for this time of year. I remember my dad 'picking' his tree from the road. He would start around Halloween, and every time we drove by the tree farm he would say.."There it is...third row from the pole...that's the one." We all knew that they all looked the same from the road, and that the one we eventually picked would be no where near the pole, but it was his tradition. It's funny how things can seem so trivial at the time, but once they are gone seem like gold. This year things are just all over the place. None of us really know how to have a holiday with one of us missing, so we're just pushing further and further away from each other in an effort to find a new normal. What I'm trying to remember is that Chase is 5-and he is excited about Santa coming. He points out any Christmas lights he finds and was so excited when we started pulling out decorations yesterday. He is ready to get a tree and get this holiday going! So next weekend we're going to get our tree and I'm going to put a smile on my face while I decorate it. Hopefully my dad will lead us in the right direction to that 'perfect tree' he always finds...

Forgiveness

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

Matthew 6:14-15 “If you forgive those who sin against you, your heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

I have been hurt by someone very close to me. More than that person realizes, I'm sure. Family is forever, so I will forgive. It's the 'forgetting' that I have the hardest time with. Recently I've realized that if I don't forget, I'm not sure I've really been able to forgive. The Bible says that God does not "remember" our wickedness (Hebrews 8:12). God is all-knowing. God knows what occurred. However, having forgiven us, He treats us as if the sin had not occurred.

I need to find the strength to forgive and forget. I believe that God forgives my sins, so I need to remember that He will forgive her too. I need to learn how to not 'dwell' on sins, but to fill my mind with my blessings. I will forever be a work in progress....

Happy Anniversary!!

Today is our one year anniversary! This is probably our last 'first' so we made it a weekend event. Saturday starting off a little shaky with family drama, but then the real fun began! Saturday night was Wes' surprise for me. Dinner at Fogo De Chao! Neither of us have been there but we've both heard really good things about it. Heather knew where we were going and prepared me on what to wear and not to eat all day! Wes made reservations for 7:30 and I was so excited and very surprised when we pulled up! The salad bar was amazing-They had the best cheeses, asparagus, and prosciutto I've ever eaten. Then, it was time for the main courses. We had coasters that were red on one side and green on the other. If your coaster was on green, that meant keep 'em coming! We ate filet mignon, lamb chops, chicken wrapped in bacon, homemade sausage, and sirloin. They also served fried bananas and fried polenta. The polenta was SO good. Then, of course, because we weren't glutinous enough (hey..you only have a one year anniversary once!) we ordered a chocolate molten lava cake. We left so stuffed but so happy. It was a great dinner. After dinner we stopped by Rachel B's birthday party at Lot One. It was pretty obvious I hadn't been out in a while! Wes was pretty sleepy but we ended up staying pretty late and had a really good time!

Chase spent the night at Summer's for the first time Saturday night. He did really good! He said he had a good time and he's already lined up to spend the night again the night before Thanksgiving. I think we're going to try to make a tradition for the boys to all spend the night together on Thanksgiving Eve. I was proud of him for being such a big boy. :)

Today was my surprise for Wes. After sleeping in VERY late I put Wes in the car and blindfolded him so he couldn't see where we were going. After taking the long way we ended up at the Pavillion in Griffin, the place where we got married last year. I had a basket with our thawed out wedding cake, a cd player, and our favorite Diet Mt. Dew. We had to park and walk b/c the gate was locked, but it was the perfect end to our weekend. The lake was so low, but other than that nothing changed out there. I put in our wedding cd and we danced in the same spot we were in exactly one year before. When we were dancing I closed my eyes and I could see every detail from our wedding. The fire, the beautiful weather, the white lights and all of our friends and family. I saw my smiling dad sitting in his wheelchair under the heaters we rented, and all of our friends in a big circle around us. It's a memory that I thought had faded, but came back so clear it brought tears to my eyes. After we danced we ate our cake (it was surprisingly really good still!) and put one notch on one of the wooden columns. Hopefully we can start a tradition.

I am anxious about, but looking forward to the holidays coming up. Our anniversary was certainly a great way to start things off! Chase is home with me all week for Thanksgiving break. It's going to be nice to sleep in and hang out together in our pj's. Thursday will be lunch at Summer's, and dinner at my mom's. Between Fogo De Chao's, and my favorite holiday foods, it's going to be time for a serious diet soon!!

Remembering...

I've been struggling with keeping up with a blog. I keep thinking that the events that happen in my life aren't really exciting enough to 'share' with other readers, and that no one reads this except me anyway. Until today. I was on the phone with a friend and we were talking about someone she knew who had died. I mentioned that so many people are dying lately, and Chase suddenly said..."like Pop Pop, too." He never brings that up on his own, so I decided to pick up where he started and asked Chase what else he remembers about Pop Pop. I think this is the best way to help Chase remember my daddy, and keep him alive in our memories. We went back and forth, almost like a game....

Me: "I remember when we used to play Memory with Pop Pop in the hospital.."
Chase: "I remember Pop Pop got me that motorcycle with my name on it!"
Me: "I remember when me and Pop Pop danced at my wedding."
Chase: "I remember Pop Pop used to ride me around in his wheelchair, and I remember before he was in his wheelchair, and he was walking around in the living room and stuff..."
Me: "I remember Pop Pop giving you all the nicknames you still have today."

We talked for a while, and just when I thought we were done...Chase says..

"I remember that Pop Pop is in heaven."

He had such a sweet smile on his face when he said it.

"Mama, do you know where heaven is?"

"Where is heaven, Chase?"

and he pointed up to the sky and waved at Pop Pop...so I waved too.

It was a conversation that left me sad, happy, proud....so many things. I immediately said to myself 'Don't ever forget that conversation, remember what Chase said and how sweet he smiled when he talked about his Pop Pop.' And suddenly I knew what this blog was going to be for me. For some people it's a way to keep in touch and share their lives with other people, and I'm sure it will still be that for me. But I also want to use this blog as a way to put my memories into words, so I can go back years from now and remember the things that might fade over time...